Chapter 45: Two months into my new grade...there's no heating at the club and its the coldest winter we've had for a long while...

Yes thats right, our heating system that was on the brink before Christmas has packed in.
Well, whats the big deal you may ask? Okay, I have Raynauds which in basic terms mean that I have very bad circulation in my fingers and toes. Usually the basic movements that we do as part of a warm up helps to get the circulation going, but this time its not working. The other downside of having no or little heating is that our mats which are usually as hard as rocks to breakfall on have stiffened up, so basically this means that breakfalling would be easier outside on a concrete pavement then on the Tatami.
Strangley enough, this isn't really bothering me. Since reaching my next grade (blue) things like this aren't putting me off training like they used to. Its almost as if I've toughened up since last winter.
But don't get me wrong, as soon as I get changed and feel the cold hard tatami under my feet and my feet and hands go numb- I still feel that a gi that its own heating system would be a distinct advantage for me if only for the warm up (and only during winter of course).
Since getting my blue belt, I think something has happened to me, something's changed-I feel more confident during the free practice and fitter then I've ever been. I'm also contemplating entering for Randori this time in competition rather than just watching. Its a very odd feeling, whether its because I graded somewhere different and thus my grading really feels like an achievementthis time I don't know...but its a good feeling that I really feel that my training in Aikido is working for me (if only in a 'feel good' way).
Even though I feel good about my new belt I know that there is no room for compacency. The training and standards expected of me have really stepped up- there is no room for slacking. The next year in which I train for my brown will be the real test for me in Aikido, can I do it? Can I get my brown? Can I overcome my nerves and inward fears that still lurk within? I may decide not to even grade at the end of 2009, who knows? I will have to face whatever the training and life throws at me and see.