So, You Want To Start Aikido?

Chapter 57: How long should you wait to grade? Are you ever truly 'ready'?

2011-04-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

I found myself asking this question a few weeks ago when re-newing my PI (Personal Insurance) for the coming year. On the application, it asked me to fill in what grade I was currently at, where and when I graded. I got a bit of a shock when I realised that it was 2008 since I last graded- more or less two years ago.

Eep! That seems a long time ago, and the truth of the matter is I've not entered for the last two gradings because I felt it was too soon, I've moved clubs, changed styles-I just felt I wasn't good enough for 1st Kyu (Brown).

In the last few months, I've felt that I really should bite the bullet, the people I graded with are now one or even two belts higher than me now.
So, how does this make me feel you may ask? Strangely enough, I don't mind people becoming higher belts than me, I just feel that perhaps I'm trying to 'duck' out if you will, like a form of grading procrastination. Oh- and did I also mention that I hate exams/tests?

Or is putting off gradings a form of 'grading procrastination'? Surely if I don't feel ready, then I'm not ready for that next grade? Am I just comparing myself to others too much?

Hmmm-not sure on this point. If I'm honest, probably a mixture of all three! Still, I think in another six months or so I should feel that I'm ready for that next stage. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

Chapter 56: In which the fighting spirit is renewed...

2010-09-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

A strange title for a blog post it seems, but here goes.

The last few months have been quite full of both good and sad news in a way. The good news is that I'm now married but the sad news is shortly after I returned from honeymoon, I learned that our Sensi had passed away following a short illness. As you can imagine, this was a difficult time for us all.

We all however, grasped our 'fighting spirit' and decided we all wanted to continue and so have joined a neighbouring aikido club. I'm happy to say we've now settled in and enjoying our new training regime.

The post title of 'fighting spirit' stems from the fact that we as a club could have packed our Gis away and called it a day but none of us felt that Sensi would have pleased with that idea! We've carried on, despite quaking at the knees of the idea of joining another club at first.

Chapter 55: Being a good Tanto player- Is it something that is innate inside or can be taught?

2010-05-02T12:51:00.000-07:00

This is something I've being wondering about since taking part in my first competition about two years ago. Watching the good tanto players, (the ones who win the gold) it seems that a small part of the battle of being good at tanto is having a good 'fighting' attitude.

The difficulty I find with Randori is what to do once you have hold. I seem to have the idea of breaking balance, and doing technique but seem to lose it a little after that. Whereas others, seem to just have the 'knack' of knowing what works immediately.

I came to think about this after a recent session where I was working with a lower grade who was new to tanto practice, especially full-blown Randori. My first thought was 'Gees...how do you teach this? Can you teach this? Do you start with tanto avoidence, then technique with no resistance, gradually bluiding up to the point of light Hikkitat? Or do you just let the Aikkidocca do what comes naturally when they first encounter a tanto coming towards them?

I think its a bit of both, you need a good teacher, someone who knows what works but equally I think that you also need a bit of 'fighting' instinct. There is many different ways in which Aikido can both be taught and learned, so for the moment with this in mind, I think I will try to muddle through the best way I can, finding out what works for me.

Chapter 54: Do people really understand the way Martial Arts touch us?

2010-03-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

A slightly strange blog title I'll admit, and not necessarily about Aikido but here goes....

Have you ever had anyone ask you what your hobbies are and you tell them that you do Aikido, Jodo, Karate etc only to be met either with a sarcastic comment or strange look, as if to say why would you want to do that? And they also give you a strange look if on a Friday night no one understands (apart from your club mates) why you would rather go hit the mats rather than the pub. I have, many a time but I think this is perhaps due to the fact that I don't exactly fit the stereotype of that everyone who does martial arts is hard-faced and ruthless.

So why do people have these conceptions? I always try and explain what Aikido is, what martial arts truly signify and how people can develop from studying them. But people still think that you're a nutter. Well, okay I don't suppose it helps that my arms are usually (but not always) black and blue and my shoulders and arms are covered in Gi and mat burns.

I think part of the problem is that people want to be good immediately and get their black belts within a year or two. But what they don't realise is that it takes many years to become good and to become good enough for a Dan grade you need to literally have experienced blood, toil, tears and sweat for it to be worthwhile? I've had many a work colleague say to me that they would like to try a martial art but wouldn't be able to take orders from a Sensi or higher grade. Again, this is a case of people getting the complete wrong end of the stick. All learning on (and sometimes off the mat) is entirely voluntary, you and you alone want to learn, to better yourself. I don't know of anywhere else in life this happens. But when it does happen, you can develop a very deep and beautiful bond between you, your fellow students and your Sempai. And its very satisfying. Much more so than sitting with a bottle of wine and chocolate bar on the sofa on a Friday night. Yes, give me training over that any day.

Chapter 53: New Year, New Job, New Dojo...Don't make life easy for myself do I?

2010-02-21T10:26:00.001-08:00

Yes thats right, New year, New Job, New Dojo. I recently changed jobs to specialise further in my field (the other side of the country to be exact), so naturally I needed to keep up with the Aikido- especially if I want to get to brown.

However, there was just one problem- there is no Tomiki Aikido club where I am but there are Shodokan clubs. So do I quit Aikido having got so far or do I change styles? From this entry's title-yup you're right, I've decided to change styles. I'm not completely new to Shodokan Aikido by the way- there were a few club members at my last club that were interested in it, so I did practice in Shodokan style sometimes.

But there's no denying it-it is slightly different and its hard to remember what style does what. But on a brighter side, I think we may have got to the bottom of the roll 'problem' and hopefully this can be resolved soon.

So, how did it feel to change styles? To be honest, a little 'traitor' like since 99.9% of my training thus far has been Tomiki. But I really don't believe I've turned my back on my original training completely. After all, the basics of all Aikido styles are virtually the same since the principle of Aikido underlying them are the same. And yes, I do miss my old clubs. One folded just before I moved so it made saying goodbye a little easier.

Over the past four years I have trained with a variety of different people, both male and female from all walks of life and each with their own Aikido. One of the great things I love Aikido is the way it draws people together. You find that the people you train with do not become friends exactly, but they don't remain complete strangers- you form a 'bond' if you will, and each clubmate leaves their mark on you. Which is why I say its not completely goodbye when you leave a club or it folds- you leave part of yourself and you take the spirit of the club with you.

Chapter 52: Mental condtioning: Strength from within...the reason I keep going

2009-12-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

During the past three and a half years of practising Aikido, I have learned alot in terms of the technical elements of Aikido, shed blood, sweat and occasionally tears- not all at the same time, and the tears definitely not on the mat. Have I noticed any changes in myself you may ask? Yes, I think I honestly say I have. Nothing I can fully explain- I've experienced the usual physical changes in terms of building muscular definition and developing better fitness.

But the one thing I thought I had fully experienced was mental conditioning. Not quite so as it turns out-I'll explain in a short while. I always say the first six months are the hardest you will do as any Martial artist-the first month especially so. Its not just the discipline and etiquette that you have to become akin with- its also the hard graft of physical and mental training you will endure. You're a complete beginner, and whilst you stand at the end of a good session having worked hard, with lungs heaving for oxygen, sometimes Sensi will call to a bout of Ninandorri or tanto practice. You stand there thinking 'How can I do more? I haven't got anything left to give!' But here's the thing you do- and you go back the next week and the week after that and the week after that...for more!

At the moment for some reason I've been finding training especially tough, I sometimes do as I have a minor bowel condition which makes balancing getting enough calories with training hard. But I have to say- whoa! I've not experienced anything like this before. I don't know whether training seems tougher as there is less of us at the moment and so we get less breaks- I seem to remember I got one two minute break in two hours once. I swear I wouldn't have got through it without sport drinks.

What this got to do with mental conditioning? Well I will be very honest- at the moment sometimes I could happily curl up in a corner of the mat and cry. The only reason I haven't scummed as yet is because most weeks I'm really the only woman on the mat. I feel I have to uphold my 'honour' as a woman not to break down. So I don't. I also suspect the reason why I felt this way recently is because I've come down with a kidney infection, and its taking an absolute age to shift-so I'm feeling a little blue at the moment. So, yes I finding that I really have to dig deep inside to keep going.

However, having said I'm really finding Aikido difficult at the moment. I'm still really really enjoying my training. You may ask- why you crazy woman? Why don't you do flower arranging or something instead of putting yourself through this?

The answer is...I don't know. Aikido has always (and I suspect it always will) fulfilled me in a way I can't explain. I sometimes go to training being mad at something or someone at work and come away feeling at peace with myself within. Nothing else can do that for me. So will I be going next week? Kidney infection or no kidney infection... Oh yes, yes I will.

Chapter 51: As grading time comes around again...I ponder whether I should try for my ShoKyu

2009-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...again I come to the same question I asked myself about a year ago. Do I grade or not and if so for what reason?

This time, its for my brown belt- a bit of a jump from blue. Normally, I would be stuck whether I should grade or not. But this time I have come to a decision-I will grade.
I don't know why I've been able to make a positive decision like this, maybe its because with a little bit of polish, I actually feel ready this time.

I really want to grade. Not because I prefer brown to blue (actually I much prefer blue as a colour) but because I really think I'm ready. Which is odd, considering I normally run a mile from a grading, and I HATE running.

So, which brings me to the ever eternal question- why do martial artists grade? Traditionally the origin of the black belt derives from the idea that your Obi or belt absorbs your Ki and therefore it is bad luck to wash your belt as it washes away your Ki. Therefore the belt isn't washed-thus it would get blacker the longer you trained, hence becoming black. Martial artists grade to get to black eventually as this is the highest grade you can go.

I've decided to grade as I believe each grade gives you new challenges at each stage and I think I'm finally ready to face the challenges of brown.

However, you can grade for the WRONG reasons. Although with grade, comes a nice new belt and the next lot of challenges for you to conquer for you next belt-there also comes responsibility. A strange idea this may seem but each grade you reach, I believe you are responsible for helping the grade below you learn and develop as you were once helped. Therefore, just because you've eventually reached Dan grade doesn't mean you've become the best there is at the martial art that you practise. You shouldn't forget that you were once a white belt too.

Chapter 49: Why oh why is it you pick up injuries when you have an important event coming up?

2009-09-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

The most recent development in my Aikido training is learning when to quit. I say this as I currently have two injuries- both large toes in fact. What is even more annoying is that only one of these inuries is Aikido related.

The first injury occured about three weeks ago on my left large toe. Those of you who read this blog will know that I'm an Irish dancer and so a toe injury is NOT good. I could barley walk after dancing one evening so I decide to pay a visit to my GP as I was afraid it may be a bunion forming- Irish dancers are prone to them. Happily it turned out it was only a sprain. Ok thinks I, I will just be very very careful and not do any jumps or kicks for a week or two. Ha! Well, its taking longer to heal then what I anticipated. As we have a large show coming up it means it only has about five weeks to heal.

The second injury is Aikido related I have to say. I spilt my right large toe nail down the middle of the nail bed at the last session. So in the end, I went to a Chiropodist to make sure that the nail bed was trimmed down correctly and stop infection. Now, I don't like people looking at my feet- they're all callused and rough from my dancing, we dancers are not too kind to our feet. The first thing she remarked on when she saw the state of my feet was to ask me if I couldn't be a couch potato instead? Um, no was the answer to that question I'm afraid. Anyway, the nail trimmed back ok and should grow back about Christmas time.

I say I've learned how to quit because I have to have one toe taped up to stop the nail splitting further and figured a way of strapping part of my foot up to support the toe without hindering any movement. Therefore I find that I have to be patient with myself and allow time for these two injuries to heal. So basically this means still training and dancing but training and dancing carefully. Fatio!

Chapter 48: What does your Aikido mean to you?

2009-08-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, what does your Aikido or if you participate in another martial art mean to you?

I ask this question as I've recently attended a weekend course and had a chance to attempt another grading. It was very tempting, for quite a few reasons, and I have to say all of them wrong reasons for grading. I will be very honest when I heard that people I knew were grading, I really wanted to join them on the mat at least to try.

But I decided not to. Its not that I don't ever want to grade to brown and eventually (I hope) to black- it just feels wrong at this moment in time. It feels too soon, it feels wrong somehow to even think about grading when my last grading was before Christmas.

The point is, I didn't grade because I've come to realise whats important to me about my Aikido- and its not to grade. I never started Aikdo for the much desired black belt- I started for self-defence reasons and to give myself a little self-confidence boost. I only started grading because it seemed a good way to remain focused on my training.

However, its now become clear to me that I don't do Aikido so I can grade, I do Aikido because I find it fulfils me in a way in which I can't explain. In fact, I'm finding that I sometimes get more enjoyment of working with the new beginners and lower grades- its a great feeling if you're training with someone who is relatively new to Aikido when they manage to use a technique that they have been struggling with and put you to the floor.

Thats when it hits me- I've often wondered what my Aikido is and I think I finally found it. My Aikdo isn't necessarily about always wanting to reach the next belt- I now much prefer to help others along the path...just as three years ago my Sengpai helped me.

Chapter 47: Why do people think female martial artists are violent and can't call themselves a lady?

2009-06-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well, where to start? First of all,an awful lot of stuff has happened since my last post.

Firstly I got engaged at Easter and secondly the Doctor has finally sorted my IBS with the right medication which means for the first time in a good six months I am able to train without painful bowel spasms. Joy!

I also think that my attitude to training has changed somewhat. I currently train at two different clubs, one slightly more formal than the other and I'm finding that my self-discipline has (I like to think anyway) improved some what. I stay more focused on the point in hand and have developed a very scary drive to training.
Since getting my blue belt in January, its like I've grown a new skin, I've become more fluid and graceful in movement but at the same time have developed a hard attitude against the little voice in my head, you know the one says 'you can't do that' and ignore it completely - in fact I rarely hear it anymore.

Now I'm getting to the point of my post. It's really interesting how people view you as a martial artist. I've been told that 'I don't look like a martial artist'. I'm sorry, but what is a martial artist supposed to look like? A hard faced killer?
I was at a demo recently for sports and it was strange how people do a runner when they see people in Gis, especially the girls my age. It was also interesting how many people didn't know what Aikdio was or how the principles may be applied against an attacker.

What really annoys me though is how some women think that being a martial artist makes you less feminine, less of a lady. In fact, I have been labelled a 'heretic' to womanhood in the past just because I thought short hair and fingernails were more practical for doing sport. I don't know whats the issue here, its like people think I don't care about my appearance or something, but you will find that in many changing rooms all female aikidocca are discussing 'beauty' tips. Well, more about moisturing and curing Gi burn really. So you see we do care about our appearance. In fact, for nights out alot of the men I train with are amazed that we make such an effort - well, they see us at our worst, all sweaty and horrible so its our chance to show we can scrub up well I suppose. Sorry, I should scrap that sentence, I should say 'horses sweat, gentlemen perspire, ladies merely glow'. What a load of rubbish!

In fact, I was talking to someone about this a few months back at a course. Yeah, okay I now have short hair and I did enjoy having long fingernails but it was so time consuming to do your hair and look after your nails (maybe I was just lazy). We also got talking about why young women don't do martial arts - and the only think we could think of was that they maybe think they will develop into muscular amazons or something and get huge, but the reality is we don't have the testosterone for it! So yeah, out has gone the long hair and nice fingernails, but I've gained so much for a supposed 'loss of femininity', for one thing- without Aikido, I wouldn't have met my fiancé. I met him on an Aiki night out!

Chapter 46: Why is it no matter how hard you train, something always gets the better of you?

2009-03-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well, thats it- I've done something I've never done... I had to ask to be excused during a training session. There was a good reason (honest).
The fact is, my Irritable Bowel (IBS) is getting the better of me during training. Its flared up again, which makes some techniques like Gedan-ate difficult to work with-basically because it hurts when someone catches me with it over the their leg. I had to sit out towards the end of the session even though I really really didn't want to because I knew the technique we were working on would only make me feel worse.
I was a little ashamed to tell you the truth, because when you get to blue belt training is about mind over matter right? You're not meant to whimp out! Sensi understood I needed the 10 minutes but I still feel a little put out that its preventing me from participating fully in training at the moment. Still, all part of the learning curve right?
Anyway, hopefully things will settle down soon. Apart from the old IBS rearing its ugly head again, I find I'm enjoying my training more than ever. Japanese terminology no longer seems alien and now I've started learning the higher grade katas I've come to appreciate the beauty of the circular movement involved in Aikido. Why did I not see this before?

Chapter 45: Two months into my new grade...there's no heating at the club and its the coldest winter we've had for a long while...

2009-02-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

Yes thats right, our heating system that was on the brink before Christmas has packed in.
Well, whats the big deal you may ask? Okay, I have Raynauds which in basic terms mean that I have very bad circulation in my fingers and toes. Usually the basic movements that we do as part of a warm up helps to get the circulation going, but this time its not working. The other downside of having no or little heating is that our mats which are usually as hard as rocks to breakfall on have stiffened up, so basically this means that breakfalling would be easier outside on a concrete pavement then on the Tatami.
Strangley enough, this isn't really bothering me. Since reaching my next grade (blue) things like this aren't putting me off training like they used to. Its almost as if I've toughened up since last winter.
But don't get me wrong, as soon as I get changed and feel the cold hard tatami under my feet and my feet and hands go numb- I still feel that a gi that its own heating system would be a distinct advantage for me if only for the warm up (and only during winter of course).
Since getting my blue belt, I think something has happened to me, something's changed-I feel more confident during the free practice and fitter then I've ever been. I'm also contemplating entering for Randori this time in competition rather than just watching. Its a very odd feeling, whether its because I graded somewhere different and thus my grading really feels like an achievementthis time I don't know...but its a good feeling that I really feel that my training in Aikido is working for me (if only in a 'feel good' way).
Even though I feel good about my new belt I know that there is no room for compacency. The training and standards expected of me have really stepped up- there is no room for slacking. The next year in which I train for my brown will be the real test for me in Aikido, can I do it? Can I get my brown? Can I overcome my nerves and inward fears that still lurk within? I may decide not to even grade at the end of 2009, who knows? I will have to face whatever the training and life throws at me and see.

Chapter 44: First week back...including the usual aches and pains, and gulp! -Grading result!

2009-01-11T09:25:00.000-08:00

Well, this is the first week back after Christmas and usually the one that I find the hardest. The problem is is that you feel extremely unfit (no matter what your good intentions were regarding eating half of the chocolate tin) and don't really feel like going out into the dark and cold.
This year however, it wasn't that I was feeling unfit or out of shape particularly, it was the fact that the first night back was results night was what was making me nervous. Back in December when I did my blue belt grading I didn't feel that I had done well, I didn't really expect to.
So, we line up, kneel in seiza, and wait nervously for Sensi who kneels in front of us with a small notebook....it turns out we all passed.
The fact that I'm now a blue belt hasn't really sunk in yet and I don't think it will for a couple of weeks. It feels a little unreal to me still-the fact that after three years of Aikido training, I now a blue belt. Needless to say though I am ecstatic...I don't think I will be grading for a little while!
I want to savour the moment for a while you see...because I never thought I would get this far.

Chapter 43: I've finally bitten the bullet and graded...whats next?

2008-12-24T02:32:00.000-08:00

Well thats it...grading done and dusted. I finally managed to get a grip and try for my blue belt. The strange thing was that for a fornight I was a whole mixture of emotions-first excited, then nervous and then both excited and nervous at the same time.
The nerves this time didn't kick in till about one hour before, like I said this was a new thing for me. But I think it was because I had decided that whether I passed or failed this grading-the world wouldn't stop spinning on its axis.
It wasn't too bad. It started off a little badly as my Ukemi weren't as good as they could of been and I will be honest, had I not waited nearly a year to grade this time-I might have given up there and then. I just felt like crying in frustration really.
But the kata and technical side of the grading wasn't bad, I think it went as well as what it could have done. Apart from the fact that I had a huge mental block during counters, but I wasn't the only one to fluff that side of things up. But the one thing that I felt went well was the free practice-I really enjoyed it. There is nothing like a total of about eight minutes of free play to completely relax you at a grading- as well as tire you out.
I think with hindsight, this has benn the first grading that I have really enjoyed. All my other gradings up till now have been rather nerve racking, this one however...I'm still not sure what happened to make the nerves disappear. I think that perhaps I realised that the only person I was doing this for was me, and so I had nothing to prove to anyone except myself that I could do this. I did however have to prove that I was ready for this grade to the grading panel but somehow the whole thing didn't bother me.
So did I pass or did I fail? The truth is I don't know yet- we will find out in three weeks time.

Chapter 42: To grade or Not to Grade...That is the Question

2008-11-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...I seem to be in an interesting pickle at the moment. I have an opportunity now that I've accumulated enough hours to try for my next belt, which is blue belt. Trouble is, the grading is at another club. Not that is a big problem with any of my instructors where or who I grade with...I think the problem lies within.
Any one who is a regular reader of this blog will know that my reluctance to grade is not an entirely new development-I always get the 'heebe-geebes' near grading time, but this time it feels different.
The really stupid thing is that had the grading date been a competition date instead, I would have been the first one to sign up. The thing is is that I have never ever liked exams at School, College or Uni (alright no one does) even though I usually got good marks (apart from my driving test-which is different story since it took me five times to pass it). So why am I an absolute complete coward when it comes to gradings? Perhaps the issue lies with the fact that I'm still having issues with Ukemi (especially the forward roll) but they are improving, albeit slowly but I should (hopefully 'touch wood') be fine by the time the grading date rolls round. Ever heard of a green belt who is terrified of falling? Well, now you have-Me!
I know that for some Aikidoccas gradings are the one thing that they strive for-some people personally feel that they are failures if they don't achieve their First Dan within a certain time frame. For me, Aiki was never about getting the coveted Black Belt-it was more about learning a little self-defence and self-confidence boost. The question I now have to ask myself is-what is it exactly that I want from my Aikido? A Black Belt eventually or not? Because if I don't conquer this fear, I will never progress. But at the same time the coloured belts system for rank in the Dojo is very much a Western idea, in Japan there are no or very few gradings- the story of the Black Belt comes from the idea that your belt is a source of Ki built up through training and that to wash or clean your belt removes all Ki and for this reason very few martial artists will wash their belts-it's considered bad luck. Thus as belts were not washed, the build up of dirt on the belt showed how long a student had been training, hence if their belt was extremely black with dirt, they were very experienced and highly skilled- 'black belts' as they became known. The truth of the matter is that after a while in Western Society, a Dan grade's belt will eventually become white again- hence they come full circle, right back to white. An interesting concept really, that someone does not necessarily have to grade to prove that they are a good Aikidocca. So, why exactly am I reluctant to do this?

Chapter 41: In which I attempt my first competition

2008-10-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

For a while now I've wanted to compete in Aikido, not necessarily a big flash tournament but something at club level. Unfortunately, I've never really had the chance...until now.
As a club we had decided to go and watch an international championship and up until two months ago, it hadn't actually registered that we as a club could actually compete. So, yes, with a good 'lets have a go' attitiude, I decide to enter for Embu-the basic 1-17 Kata techniques. I decided not to attempt Tanto-Randori this time as I really didn't feel that I would actually survive the first bout and would probarly end up coming home in a match box.
The actual competition was awesome-the atmosphere was electric, it just crackled with excitement. There was some very good Aikido exhibited there, from all countries, not just the UK.
On the second day, we found that everyone has been entered into an event called 'Kongo'. My understanding was that it was developed by the Japanese to put some 'fun' into competition. Every competitor, regardless of nationality is spilt into equal teams of seven (or in our case being a small competition-six) people and there are several events in which you must compete together as a team. I really enjoyed the Kongo event, it really brought all competitors together in the spirit of Aikido. The Kongo team that I was in managed to secure third place, and thus I came home with a bronze medal! My first one!

Chapter 40: Training with injuries...To carry on or not to carry on training, that is the question....

2008-09-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

This is a question that is often asked amongst martial artists-should I carry on despite the pain of an injury or rest? A question that I feel is difficult to answer. I say this as I have just recovered from an injury to my right knee.
When I was about 12 I strained both my knees quite badly after a PE lesson at school. I was off sport and dancing for about three weeks, dosed up to the eyeballs on ibuprofen. Since then, having 'noc-knees' (meaning my knees turn in) I find that my knees can strain quite quickly.
I admit that this injury was entirely my own fault. I decided to go on a walking holiday in the Lake District on my week off from work. Unfortunately, I pulled my right knee when out one day-and boy, did it let me know that it wasn't happy.
Anyway, my first thought was 'not again'. I knew that the only way to recover was to take some anti-inflammatory pills and wear a support for a couple of days. Not really a problem you might think but I was hoping to go back to Aiki that week.
So, what to do? I tend to find that if I take anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen before Aiki, I can't feel any joint locks-something that isn't such a great idea as you might think as you can end up with another injury since you can't 'feel' the right time to tap out. I decided to go and wear a support but not take any ibuprofen for about 4 hours before going. Before you think I am absolutely crazy, there is method in my madness-I will explain.
When someone says 'pain is your friend', they are right. Pain is our body's way of making us rest and stop when something isn't right i.e. a sprained ankle so that the body has time to heal and you don't do anything more stupid like breaking said sprained ankle. So, I decided to tap into this. By taking a baseline dose of ibuprofen, this prevents most of the pain and helps the sprain/strain heal more quickly. However by not taking the dose before Aiki this gave me a 'threshold' to work to-meaning I could still go to Aiki but would know when my knee had had enough, and so prevent me from doing any further damage.
However, I knew that it wouldn't be Aiki that would finish the knee off-it would be my dance class. As I am an Irish dancer and have been dancing for about 13 years now, my knees are not exactly in the best of shape as in Irish Dancing the jumps and kicks we do mean we land with our knees straight-not great for preserving the knee joint or helping knee injuries heal. So with great trepidation, I started warming up and found my right knee began to stiffen up. But the strange thing was by keeping to basic dance maneuvers with no jumping or kicking my knee began to slacken off and the next day when I woke there was little or no pain.
When I've strained my knees before in the past, I will be honest-I've rested up and found it took a week to heal. This time, it took less then that-maybe about 5 days and I'm not sure why. I suppose you could say that by carrying on carefully I didn't let the injury 'beat' me and caused no further damage.
So, to carry on or not to carry on training? I think this depends on the injury. Some injuries need time to heal whilst others can be trained through carefully. But just in case, my knee support is staying in the bottom of my aiki bag...

Chapter 39: I'm going to be very honest with myself...It would seem my short break from Aiki has made me more crazy then before!

2008-08-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, it would seem I am now an official 'Aikiaddict'. Seriously. After only one month returning to training and seven weeks post-op, I decided to enrol for summer school again. Apparently, I should have taken six weeks off training not three so that my muscles could 'knit' back together- but I was told three! (Honest). So you guess I was a little nervous about going as I was still healing but I'd 'survived' two club sessions a week for a month so was ready and rearing to go.
This year was fantastic. It really was. There was a huge variety of different aspects of Aikido covered so we covered a fair bit over the two days that I was there.
But it came to me that I definitely an 'Aikiaddict' when I sign up for two days of pain. It would seem that there are two aspects to the pain associated with martial arts- mental and physical pain. I've found summer school to be both. It's an absolute out of this world experience as you can train with many different people and learn different techniques and skills not covered at club level but at the same time you have to fight physical and mental exhaustion. After the first day, you tend to be a bit sore and stiff. By lunchtime of the second day, you feel that you may never breakfall again. And I will be very very honest here- there are times when you don't want to get back on that mat, but you know you have to as the moment you stop you stiffen up, so it's far less painful to keep going.
Funnily enough, I was less sore this year. But I don't think this anything to do with me being 'tougher'- last year I experimented with Deep Heat and found it useful. This year I was prepared- I used Deep Heat before and after each day and found it really helped. So, why did I do it? Well, I really enjoyed last year and wanted to meet up with everyone I had trained with-but I also wanted to see if I could do it again and 'survive' the pain.
My advice is if you get the chance at training at a summer camp or any camp for that matter, do it. You won't regret it. At the time you may feel that you never ever want to do anything like that again, but you will recover...and find that the physical and mental pain that you endured during that time was worth it.

Chapter 38: Finally, I'm back after a three week break-it feels as though I've never left...

2008-07-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hee hee...I'm officially back on the mat, including breakfalling! It feels really great, the three weeks I was off was an absolute nightmare-I honestly felt like climbing the walls sometimes and can't really explain why.
I was a little nervous about going back, especially after the op as I'm still healing. But I was so desperate to get back (very sad I know)that I wasn't going to let the fact that I only had a month to gain back my mat fitness before Summer School this year stop me from at least trying.
Our new dojo is great. We're sharing the dojo with a local jodo club so as a result we have proper competition mats (as comfy as concrete to breakfall on) and lots of space to train.
I've really missed Aikido-I don't just mean that I missed the training, I've also missed the social aspect as well and meeting up with everyone on our first session back was like a reunion almost. It really struck me how close we are as a club despite all the different grades that we have.
I've also recently started training at another Aikido club (with my Instructor's blessing of course)so that I can widen my training experience. I felt a little like a thief in the night at first, like I was betraying my club-even though I had my Instructor's blessing. But I've come to realise the only way to progress in a martial art like Aikido is to train with as many different people as possible.
With training at two different clubs I've come to ask myself-what makes a club a club? Some I suppose would say the dojo and the facilities it offers, but I like a response from a First Dan that I know- what makes a club a club is its members. The place you train is important, you need somewhere-our temporary closure has illustrated that, but you don't need Olympic standard facilities to train-just a few mats but, more importantly, members. Without members there is no club. All members are as valuable as each other; a white belt is as important as a Dan Grade as it is the white belts who bring in fresh blood to keep the club alive-but the Dan Grade is needed to pass on much valued experience.

Chapter 37: Arrgh! A three week break and am about ready to start climbing the walls...

2008-06-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

I recently logged on to my blog and realised that I've not posted for a little while. I usually try to only post when something happens or something strikes me to talk about Aikido.
What is really driving me mad at the moment is that fact that I'm off dancing for two weeks and Aikido for three weeks following a minor op. How did I manage fit these activities in around study and work? Like I say, I feel as though I very slowly going mad. What makes it worse is that the club is having a short break at the moment. At the time I thought this was great, you know, have the three weeks off and no catching up to do but now I'm not too sure-at least if there were classes I could go watch.
Oh well, at least I have my dance class to look forward to this week, having had the two week break but I miss the Dojo. Really miss it and I have one more week to wait! Sigh...I wonder if any other people feel as though they're going mad when they can't get out to train?
The thing that worries me the most is why do I miss it? I mean, surely I would welcome a break from bruises and pain for a little while? Nope, obviously not-and its kinda sad, I know. The one consolation I have is that I only have to wait one more week, one more to start training again. One more week!

Chapter 36: Tori using Tanto for defence...now this could prove interesting...

2008-05-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

At our last session, we were told to try something different...Tori was to defend themselves using 10 different techniques from the Randori kata but using the tanto. Hmmm...Okay, this could prove interesting-I'm not used to defending with a Tanto, only against it-so here goes.
After 20 minutes, of 'Yeah, no, yeah- that might work', we were asked to show what we had come up with to the rest of class. I like this idea, it gets you used to an 'audience' as it were, so its less nerve racking at gradings when all your fellow club members are watching. It was quite interesting how we each interpreted the techniques differently-but if you think about it, if Aikido is developed from Samurai techniques, then you would always have a weapon in your hand whilst executing a technique and therefore in the middle of battle you would constantly change technique to keep yourself alive as everyone knows all the techniques that you know. A frightening observation was everyone's anatomical knowledge of where the vulnerable points of the human body were to hit with a knife-the kidneys, intestines and jugular. But as martial artists, I suppose that knowledge comes as part and parcel of your training, even in a 'peaceful' art like Aikido.
Towards the end, I chose to work on counters for my next belt as I hadn't worked on these for quite a while and was quite rusty. An interesting method of learning was suggested by a Dan grade who basically told me to shut my eyes, attack and then counter. I kinda wondered what the point was...how can I counter? But I soon saw his point-you don't see the technique to counter with,you 'feel' it-in fact practising counters was easier with shutting the eyes then just doing them normally, you can feel the right times when to move and counter. An interesting experience and one I would recommend trying.

Chapter 35: Oh dear....It would seem I've acquired some S and M characteristics from Aikido....Or is it a form of 'self-discipline'?

2008-04-12T11:44:00.001-07:00

A strange title to a blog post, wouldn't you agree? Again, we had another session from the same coach that has sparked a serious train of thought about my own perceptions about what Aikido actually is and what it involves. I also feel that my entire way of thinking about the principles of Aikido has been turned on its head.
We started off where we finished last week...concentrating on maintaining eye contact throughout training with Uke or Tori, keeping posture, and returning after doing a technique to posture. This time, we also has to work on commitment and purpose in our techniques, as well as the Ukemi from each technique. A lot to think about before you've even bowed to your partner!
We ended up (being a small class that evening) working with each other at some point. My second partner (an orange belt) ended up sparking a train of discussion about the breakfall from number 17, her question-how do you know where to breakfall? Surely its not over your own arm? Er...yes, I reply, how else can you breakfall? Not like that! she replies. So, to try and help her I call over an instructor and we get talking. I realise that since having achieved my green belt, my attitude to training has changed. I noticed this when the instructor was trying to explain to her that the breakfall was indeed over her arm and I saw what he was trying to explain, there are some techniques that you will not have a 'nice' breakfall from ('nice' meaning both your hands free). However, my partner begins to panic at this and points out although she can do a Kota breakfall supported she can't do this one. I and the instructor try to explain that its very similar, but she doesn't agree-she's afraid of falling badly and injuring herself-a very valid fear. I assure her if she wants to try I will NOT let go, controlling the landing so she won't get injured. At this point, the instructor chuckles to himself and points out the responsibility lays mainly with Uke to prevent injury and NOT Tori. But I pointed out the whole idea of Aikido is that you do the technique and Uke should be able to get up and walk away uninjured. He replies 'Bless you- you're living in a dream world, you have a little shrine dedicated to the prinicples of Aikido'. Huh-maybe I do, but I think I'm right. If I did not help her by controlling her landing to a certain point whilst she is learning the breakfall-she will hurt herself and I will feel really guilty about it. So dream-shrine or not, thats the way I see The Tori-Uke relationship, but maybe I'm wrong. But I kinda forgive him when he added that even with Tori looking after you, accidents still happened.
My last partner for the evening is a yellow belt. At this point the coach wants us to start demonstrating as Uke and Tori that we both have purpose in our techniques. Okey-dokey, lets have a go, I think. But my partner is not maintaining eye contact, so its hard to do the technique properly. So I'm afraid I pulled rank a little, and said I would not breakfall unless he keeps eye contact and puts me down. He agrees that may help. Halfway through he tells me he can't do this, he doesn't have the discipline. So, I ask him, 'You're doing A-Levels-right? Well, it took self-discipline to get yourself there, so you DO have self-discipline'. 'Oh yeah, I guess I do' he says, and from then on his technique improves.
Another aspect of the evening showed how much my attitude to pain in training had changed when the instructor was demonstrating to my yellow belt partner how the wrist lock in technique 13 worked and pointed out that he shouldn't be afraid to apply the locks as even the early techniques in Kata generally cause some discomfort to Uke. He then added after a while, you seem to enjoy the pain-and I realise that I too am beginning to enjoy pushing myself through the pain a little more each time. Oh dear, it would seem I've become a little S and M like.
The point I guess I trying to make is that after you've been training a while-you seem to change. Your body changes...muscle becomes toned and fitness levels increase. Your mind also changes...you begin to be able to focus more clearly and get to know yourself- your limitations and inner demons. And to keep all this up, you need to go regularly and train hard- a form of self-discipline imposed by the conditioning of training perhaps?

Chapter 34: An interesting session sparks a train of thought...is self-discipline an inbulit characteristic or is developed as part of training?

2008-04-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

The aspect of self-discipline has always interested me. Is it something that is already a part of you, like a personality trait-some people may have the capacity to develop self-discipline more readily or is it something that can be developed through training, either mentally or physically?
This train of thought started after a recent Aikido session. The instructor handed the class over to one of the brown belt coaches. I always enjoy these sessions, not that I'm saying being taught all the time by the same person is boring- its just nice to experience a different train of thought about the aspects of Aikido.
The coach started by explaining a recent observation that she had seen at competitions and gradings-as a club we had become too 'soft', there was no purpose to our technique which was inhibiting our progress in our Aikido.
So we started by beginning with Tandaqondo (the hand and foot exercises) and then were asked to practice it again with a partner-just to see how our technique changed. I have to admit it was very strange-I was 'striking' a real person! In a way, it made it easier to do, but the theory is that the exercises should be practised as if you are striking someone anyway. That done- we were asked to practice the Kata techniques of 1-17 and regardless of being Uke or Tori, we had to come back into posture after every completing technique. I will be very honest here- none of us did it after every technique, quite frightening how sloppy things can become if you let them slip.
After this we were asked to pair up with a different partner and do a different Kata if we wanted but this time maintain eye contact and posture at all times. We were also asked to count each time our partner lost eye contact with us. Apparently, I lost eye contact about twice in total. Not bad really- but I suppose you could argue you should NEVER lose eye contact, but I think that is a matter of opinion really-in a club were there is limited mat space you need to keep one eye on your partner and one eye out for flying bodies in your direction!
At the end we were asked how we thought it had effected our aikido. A blue belt observed that it give us more self-discipline. Interesting point-Shouldn't a martial art encourage you to practice self-discipline on and off the mat whilst you are in the dojo? The Coach had one closing remark- if you practised coming back into posture and maintained eye contact in everything you did with Aikido, gradings would be a breeze.
Once I got home- I began to ponder, what is self-discipline? As well as being an Aikidocca, I'm also an Irish dancer. I have danced since I was about nine years old, so have been dancing quite a while. Irish Dance requires a fair bit of self-discipline- we start in a set starting position, and finish in a set finishing position, and bow to the audience. We are also not allowed to talk to one another on the floor as this encourages us to talk when we are during a performance-which is not professional, therefore it is discouraged in class.
When I first moved into the Senior group of the dance school, we had a bar installed in the classroom. We then shown exercises to do which would help to improve our flexibility and encouraged to use it before each class. The strange thing was out of a class of maybe 12 girls, only 2 or 3 (myself included) would use it. The point is- was that an exercise of developing self-discipline in us as dancers?
As a martial artist you realise that it requires a lot of self-discipline to develop further in a martial art. But the point is what exactly is self-discipline? Is it a frame of mind you develop through training to develop further or is it more a form of self-determination and will to suceed? I like to think that self-discipline is something that you develop as a part and parcel of training be it in dance, martial arts or music. It seems to be a way in which you can conduct yourself to self-improvement, but at the same time know yourself, when to push that little bit further but also know your own limitiations, and I think Aikido is a great way of exploring your inner self-its almost looking in a mirror really.

Chapter 33: A two week vacation and strangely....I've finally got my endurance and fitness back!

2008-03-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

We recently started back as a club after a two week break for Easter. I normally dread these breaks as I find my fitness generally takes a nose dive but this time I can honestly say I was glad of the break as after a recent kidney infection I developed Flu a week later and so wasn't exactly in fit shape. However, although I missed Aiki like mad over the last two weeks, I'm now feeling much much better.
I was kind of dreading the first session back mainly because I wasn't sure how I would hold up but was determined to keep up come what may, even if it killed me. I was also dreading it because as usual at this time of year it was quite a cold night, which usually means that I take about half an hour to warm up. But I went along anyway.
I knew it was a cold night when one of the first Dans (who is quite hardy-never seems to feel pain or the cold) comes in and turns the heating on, yes-he turned the heating on! Ha! it seemed I wasn't the only one feeling cold that night!
The instructor then turns up and suggests that if we're cold, we should run around to get warm. I wasn't so sure- I didn't feel like I could survive the session, never mind tiring myself out BEFORE the session had even begun. But hey, at that point I was too cold to care.
So I start running round once, twice, three, four times-I don't know how many times I lapped around that mat...I only know it was much easier than what I was expecting. I eventually stop and realise my heart rate was only slightly raised and I was only slightly out of puff. Not bad I thinks, for a two week break anyway.
The session then started with running around. Again, I had no problem keeping up. A great improvement considering two weeks ago I was lagging behind everyone else. We then worked through various techniques. At one point, my partner (a blue belt)and I decide to work on some kneeling techniques. I have a slight problem with the second technique, I can't seem to get the timing right but I realise how much I missed my Aikido when there is a mock howl of anguish from my instructor as yes, I did the technique wrong yet AGAIN and He says 'what did I say about that technique again? After all that work we did on it?'and I think 'I've really really missed this'. I could He wasn't really cross, more amused really.
This carried on until we finished up with Hikitat. Normally Hikitat finishes me off but this time I managed two rounds before I broke a slight sweat. Yes! I realise that I'm finally feeling fit again.
That however, was without factoring in what I call PAA or Post-Aiki-Ache in the morning. But you know, I only had that 'nice' Aikido ache- the ache that feels like you've progressed a little further in Aikido.

Chapter 32: Can you train without participating in Ukemis?

2008-03-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

Recently I read and commented on a post on an American Uchi Deshi's blog about 'Just show up'. Its strange how the kama of meditating on these things have an effect on you soon after.
After commenting on that post I developed a kidney infection a few days later. Now I find its my turn to ponder 'Do I show up?'. I will be honest, I hurt too much to train (obviously), its to be expected. But at the same time, its the last Aiki session we will have as a club for two weeks due to Easter, so...do I show up even if its just to watch or cry off? How can you practice safe Aikido if you can't breakfall?
I decide to phone and speak to my instructor. I explained the problem, I wanted to train but couldn't, could I still come? It turns out it wasn't a problem, we could do a session based on movement and I didn't have to breakfall. Yay!
So, I showed up. I decided to work with a lower grade and did some work on basic movement without ukemi. And I have to say, although I had been in a lot of pain all week, I didn't feel any pain during the session at all-in fact, I felt better for turning up rather than moping at home...strange really.

Chapter 31: I have a late New Year resolution...I really have to stop doubting myself about my Aikido

2008-03-02T08:03:00.001-08:00

I didn't make any New Year resolutions this year, because I didn't have any really. I have decided (rather late in the year) to make one. I have decided to will really try to quell the little voice in my head that appears at every Aiki session when we try something big, you know, the one that says 'why are you here? you're waaayyy out of your depth! you can't do this, who are you kidding?
I decided this after an Aiki course this weekend. There was an afternoon course this weekend about competition in Aikido with a grading afterwards so me and two others from the club decide to go down. It was quite good really, we got to meet up with a few other people that we knew from other clubs and got to have a go at some Aiki-jujitsu. I managed to learn a really cool choke hold that a 16-17 stone guy couldn't get out of! Hee Hee! I can't wait to try the 'floor wrestling', I have a few takedowns now in my arsenal, so hopefully I won't get squashed this time!
Afterwards came the grading and we decided to watch since there were some high Dan grades grading. It was quite a privilege and really cool to watch as you can imagine.
I decided to make my resolution about no more self-doubt after watching two blue belts (who were going to grade up to brown)go through their Kata at the beginning and I have to say, they were good, very good. I suddenly realised that the little voice popped up again, you know...the one that makes you feel very inadequate about your own abilities. It was then that I realised that if I was to succeed any further in Aikido...then I would have to start leaving my self-doubt at the door of the dojo. So, no more letting the little voice in my subconscious mind becoming part of my conscious mind...It really is a self-esteem killer.

Chapter 30: Help!...I want my white belt back!

2008-02-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

I'm not kidding...I really do want my white belt back! I realised that green belt would be extremely tough, I just didn't twig that the training steps up AFTER Christmas.
The last session started off well. We lined up me, a Dan grade, blue belt and a yellow belt ( all guys apart from me) and we got told run up and down the mat until told to stop. Okay, thinks I, pace myself as I'm with three guys here, should be fine. Then we were told to go faster! Faster? I can't go any faster! But okay, body don't fail me now! Then finally, after what seemed like 100 laps of the mat...we were told to do five more laps (each one faster than the last) and THEN we could stop.
We then stretched off, which wasn't too bad as the preparations for a dance show I was doing were going well, so I wasn't too stiff. Next were 10 sit ups. This wasn't too bad for some reason...but maybe it was because I was ignoring my skeletal muscle system begining to scream at me.
So warm-up finished and we paired off to work on grasps. Okay, scratch that, it was more like, hey, you've done these before, figure them out. But I've slept since then! I wanted to cry. But alright I'll do as I'm told.
Just when I was nicely tired, you know, not too tired but had a reasonable workout...we were told to pair off and do some what I call 'floor wrestling'. This involves kneeling either face to face or back to back and trying to pin the other person on the floor. (no hair pulling, kicking, punching or biting allowed).
Now, when there are only two women in a class of four men...testosterone takes over BIG style (no offence, but floor wrestling does get a bit competitive). As the other female student can't kneel for too long due to a knee injury...that left me to the mercy of three guys. I say mercy as I'm not too good at floor wrestling, and usually end up getting squashed! But in a strange way...I really enjoy it (apart from the friction burns from the Gi of course). Its good clean fun...but I can imagine the conversation at work on Monday morning. So, what did you get up to at the weekend? Me? I was wrestling with guys....Queue strange looks and the usual following question, Why do you enjoy Aikido again? Hmmm....maybe because I can't get this much fun elsewhere and keep fit without too much embrassment?

Chapter 29: Two bruised feet, 1 Cut foot and 1 bruised wrist....I'm back!

2008-01-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

I've just completed my first aiki session back after Christmas, which means I've had a month off training. To new beginners, I suppose this sort of break will be a relief and in a way, you would be right, it was quite blissful, its the first time I've had no bruises for six months. But strangely enough, I've really missed my bruises! Yep, this is crazy, I know...but I've felt really empty and unfulfilled, like part of me is missing because I haven't been at aiki.
The first session back is always the hardest I think, you get quite lazy when you're given a short break. I've had enough on with exams and such like, so my brain certainly hasn't been unoccupied...but I suppose my 'spirit' so to speak has.
In a way, I'm glad of the break, as I've started on medication to stop my Raynaud's being so bad (its gets a bit silly when you are stood on the mat, your feet and hands are blue, and the backs of your heels are purple). The only trouble is is that they drop my blood pressure (its the way they work-I won't bore you) and they seem to work...just one problem, breakfalling with lower blood pressure! I was kinda dreading my first breakfall, but it wasn't too bad, I just felt slightly dizzy. But don't worry, I told my instructors so they know why I can't immediately jump up after a big breakfall.
For the first night back, we did weapons. Guess who managed to cut their foot, yes you've guessed it...Me! Then during a game of tails (where you tuck a large cloth in the back of your belt and try and grab someone else's as they're trying to grab yours-its harder than it looks, but good for developing hip movement) my foot got stamped on! Ow! I have a very large purply pink bruise to now add to my collection of injuries.
However, nearly 72 hours later I still ache! But it feels sooo good, I finally feel like I'm back home after a long holiday....

Chapter 28: Happy Birthday to 'So, You Want To Start Aikido?'

2007-12-30T12:10:00.000-08:00

I realised the other day that my blog is very nearly a year old, so I guess its 'Happy Birthday' to 'So, You Want To Start Aikido?' and perhaps I should make a special post or something. I'm afraid that I've really only just realised that I'm not really a beginner anymore :( . I suppose that as I've progressed in my Aikido, my blog has progressed too. But I've decided to keep the title the same and I will explain why a little later.
I guess I've never really explained why I started Aikido and not fully why I wrote this blog or for the reason behind the title. The title stems from the fact that I'm an Irish dancer and I can't sing a note! (Honest). I started writing this blog purely to help others, as others have helped me. I didn't put a name to this blog, as I wished to remain nameless as I didn't want beginners to compare themselves to me.
Although I'm not a beginner anymore, I can assure you that I still feel it at times! I've decided to write this as a progressive blog, so that people who want to start a martial art for the first time, can see, first hand, how a martial art may help you develop as a person, perhaps in a spiritual, physical or health manner.
I started Aikido for self-defence reasons as around two or three years ago, there was alot of attacks and rapes on women in my local town. To be honest, I was scared stiff that it would happen to me, so I started looking for a martial art that I could do for self-defence purposes. My dad, who did judo as a child, encouraged me to look at all options, but after several disappointing searches I was still self-defenceless. Everything I looked at seemed to require suppleness or immediate toughness, but I didn't have either! Why wasn't there a martial art for women like me? You know, women who couldn't do 1 full-weight press up without collapsing and wasn't Cat woman?
Eventually, someone suggested Aikido might be for me. But much to my frustration, I couldn't find a club! Eventually, I was successful. So on Wednesday, 4th January 2006, I stepped into a dojo for the first time. It was from here that I started.
I'm afraid that I have a slight confession to make. I started writing my blog about a year into my training as I was struggling with several aspects of my training (take rolls for example) and hoped to help others and perhaps gain help from others who like me quite frankly felt like a fish out of water at first, and didn't know my fist from my elbow. So, technically in many Aikidocca's eyes, I wasn't a beginner anymore. Maybe I wasn't. But I have struggled with my Aikido. Quite frankly, if I wasn't such a stubborn woman, I would have quite happily brawled my eyes out at every session for the first month of my training. So yes, although this perhaps isn't a beginner's blog anymore, please, please don't forget... I'd neither even seen a Gi up close or the inside of a dojo before until my first session. My blog is purely designed as a story of a journey... you have to start at chapter 1 I'm afraid as my posts are not 'one off' posts, they form part of a story, my story. Its the story of a young lass (I was 19, 5 months and 26 days old, hence the name 'Aikilass') who was the target for the school bully (which geeky kid of the class who isn't? But enough of the sob story) who stepped into a dojo for the very first time and was scared witless for the first 6 months of her training and is now a green belt. But I still haven't forgotten my first tentative steps...the ways of learning what respect for others really meant...overcoming my fears of pain, ...and to some extent, my fear of breakfalls.
I know I'm not a beginner anymore. But my blog is remaining that same. It's a documentary of my journey...and perhaps similar others or to yours eventually, if you want to start a martial art like me. But I hope that if any beginner is reading this, or anyone really, they start at Chapter 1. The beginning. After all, isn't that where we all start? Just remember, that even the highest ranking Dan Grade in the world had to start at white belt long ago....

Chapter 27: Aarrgh! I hate it when my Aiki training kicks in...

2007-12-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, it would seem that my training is becoming innate in my brain. I found this on my work's Christmas night out. I don't usually join work colleagues for drinks after a meal as a rule because I don't drink. But my arm was twisted and I agreed to join them for just one.
As it was freezing, we went to a small newly renovated bar around the corner from the restaurant where we were. When we got there, there was an ambulance outside and there was blood in the doorway. At that point, I just thought oh great, this is a really good omen. The bar was packed, but everyone (apart from me and someone else) decided to pile in.
Now, I don't know if this is related to Aiki, but I hate crowds and confined spaces, so bars are a general no-go area for me. So, I thought well, alright-its freezing cold, I'll go in just this once.
It seemed okay at first, the bar seemed to empty relatively quickly as people went off to clubs and other bars. However, the rest of my work colleagues decided it was time to move on after half an hour, so off we went. Only it wasn't as easy as that.
On the way out, a guy who from the look of him was a little tipsy and somewhere around 35 takes a fancy to me and tries to grab me. I'm 21! For goodness sake, go bother someone else closer to your age. Good grief! As I've said before...Why, why, WHY do I attract the utter weridos? Anyway, I move out of his way. Unsocuku is generally good for dodging people. But this time...it didn't work. He tries to grab me again. At this point, I'm seriously getting worried as the rest of his mates are surrounding him. So I realise I have two choices as I really, really don't like the look of this guy. I can either:

A. IF he grabs me do some technique and only if he grabs me
B. Set my 'circle' back even further from his

I settle on option B. I put my hands up to stop him from grabbing my wrists as he was trying to grab hold of my arms and I looked him in the eye. Thankfully, he backed off with an apology.
I breathe a sigh of relief and leave. But him and his mates follow us out and come after us. Two of them had their arms around two of my female work colleagues. At this point, I again get a little concerned as another one them approaches me. I just thought why do my work colleagues have to encourage these guys? Oh man, I wish these guys would leave us alone. He tries to get me to come with him to see one of his mates. Now, I may have been the last in line when common sense was given out, but I'm not so stupid as to go off with some random guy. So I simply say 'No thank you' and walk away. Now at this point, the first guy who tried to grab me apologised! He apologised! So I just said 'Okay, no problem' as I really really want to get rid of these guys. Then they wander off. At last!
The thing that worried me was how quickly my aiki training kicked in. Good, you might say...but strangely I don't. I'm really conscious that I might have had to do something had that guy grabbed me and then hurt him. I know some people may think oh, he was only being friendly, what's the big deal? Well the big deal is, I don't like utter complete random strangers trying to grab me.
So, if you don't know anything about martial arts I will try and explain about the theory of Aikido and its use in self-defence.
The idea of judging whether someone is a threat or not comes back to this 'circle' idea. Imagine there is a circle around and above you, say about a foot in diameter away from your body. That is your 'circle'. If anyone (like that guy) enters your 'circle', you have two choices. You can either retract your 'circle' (as I did) or you can deal with the 'threat'. However, just because someone tries to grab you, you have to realise potential threat from threat and threat from danger. With this guy, yes, I will be honest-I felt threatened, but he was only a potential threat. So, I retracted my 'circle' from him to restore the balance. However, he did enter my 'circle' again, so technically, he is now a threat. But again, I chose to retract, as I felt to floor or wrist lock this guy really wasn't beneficial to anyone, it would have only made the situation worse. However, had he grabbed me, he would have been a threat.
So, why the big deal? Well, I guess I trying to point out that as an Aikidocca in a situation like that you have a number of choices as I've said above. But I believe, as I think I've said before in this blog, DON'T go looking for trouble. Just because I could have taken that guy didn't mean that I should have done- its more about reading the situation.
However, I realise that some martial artists would floored the first guy to prove a point. But for me, there is no reason to do that and that is the philosophy of Aikido- If you do use Aikdio, do the Uke (attacker) no harm. They should be able to get up and walk away after you have applied the technique. I believe I achieved that that night- I gave the guy a chance to back off. But I won't deny, it was a very scary experience..one I hope not to be repeated.

Chapter 26: My SanKyu grading.. the hardest (and strangest) grading yet...

2007-11-24T05:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say that the grading date for my green belt came around very quickly, too quickly really. As usual for this time of year I had no circulation in my hands or feet until about half way through the grading, it was soooo cold.
The first thing that really threw me was the order in which we did everything. First we were told to backwards breakfall until told to stop. Okay... off I went. Then the same with side breakfalls. That was extremely tiring. It was a little unusual considering we usually line up and pair off to do ukemi. But I wasn't complaining. Keeps you warm if you keep going then if you're stood still in a line waiting.
Then came kneeling techniques. Kneeling? I was expecting the standing techniques! Oh well. I was a little grateful to do these first considering that after 2 hours I would too tried to do a really good job of these.
Next came tanto and ninandorri. This didn't really bother me considering I was really cold and the energetic stuff would get the blood going. Finally, the standing stuff. But by this time, I was really tired so I didn't do as well as I knew I could. But I passed! I'm now a green belt!

Note: Someone has asked me to clarify Ninandorri...So, here goes. I may have spelt it wrong, so apologies for that. Basically Ninandorri is 'Two on One', a teamwork exercise. Three people stand in a triangle, the Tori (Defender) as the point. The idea is that the two Ukes (Attackers), the two other points of the triangle attack Tori at the same time. The best way of tackling this as Tori is to pick which attacker you will defend against first, and execute the technique. But...remember to watch the other Uke coming in. I said that Ninadorri is a team work exercise. It is practised in clubs as such, the principle for the Uke is to help Tori demonstrate the breaking of balance in the technique, helping Tori 'show off' their technique, breakfall and then get back up again as fast as possible. Ninandorri is not just practised at club level, it is also practised at competitions.
Please feel free to ask any questions or comment on anything.

Chapter 25: No Aiki session...queue Adrenline surges!

2007-11-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

There's something weird that's happened to me since starting Aiki nearly two years ago and I'm not just talking about the developing muscle tone, increasing awareness or anything like that (although that has happened). I find that if an Aikido session is cancelled, or I can't train one evening, I get really really restless, like I'm a squirrel on caffeine or something.
I noticed it the last time a session had to be cancelled, it was hailing outside and all I wanted to do was to go on a 10 mile run! I mean, I'm the girl that has Raynaud's for pete's sake! I hate the cold! But seriously, I could have done it in that weather...I don't know what's happened to me.
I blame Summer School for these pent up energy 'surges'. Sorry but I do. I mean, for three day straight after Summer School had finished, I woke up at 6:30am and yes, I wanted to go for a run. Seriously weird.
Now, I don't know if any other martial artists have this problem but if I can't go out when a session is cancelled, I generally try and tap into the adrenaline and do some uni work. The last time I managed to work though the function of the Thyroid gland and the Adrenal gland. Not bad for three hours of work really. Okay, I know that's geeky but it works. It stops me going insane anyway.

Chapter 24: Should you train with glasses, contact lenses, or neither if you're short-sighted?

2007-11-04T06:34:00.000-08:00

There is one thing that has been at the back of my mind since summer school (well apart from it was really really cool!) is that I'm sure many people who do martial arts need to wear glasses, so do they wear glasses or contacts when training? I saw a couple of people wearing glasses off the mat and wearing them at the end of the session so I've often wondered since then if there is any benefit to not wearing either glasses or contacts when you train.
When I first started aikido, I wore glasses as I couldn't stand the thought of 'poking' my eyes around trying to get contacts in. But I found that when breakfalling or doing tanto work it was not uncommon for my glasses to 'fly' across the dojo. Since I only had the one pair, I opted for contact lenses and found it was slightly easier. However, I sometimes wonder whether I should occasionally not wear either in training, stupid idea perhaps?
Given that I first started Aikido for self-defence, I suppose if (heaven forbid) I was grabbed in the street, the glasses would be the first thing to go, and I'm not sure how I would cope without my glasses seeing as I can't see (no pun intended-honest) anything without them as I'm very badly short-sighted. But I guess another argument is if I've trained well, surely I should have some form of 'awareness' and be able to defend myself. But I don't know. Sometimes I find aiki hard enough work actually being able to see the instructors never mind trying to see them without my glasses. Perhaps I should try it one day...

Chapter 23: The next grading looms on the horizon....

2007-10-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

As a club, the time has come for our next grading. It has been six months since I last graded, and it really doesn't seem like five minutes since I got my orange belt. You would have thought by now that I was used to gradings, after all, I have passed three in the past 21 months. But the next belt I've come to realise is much darker and harder...getting my green belt. The truth be told, I really am not ready.
Okay, I know I go through this phase every time there is a grading, but this time the next belt up is the start of the senior grades, yep thats right, not junior, senior. So you're expected to know alot more stuff, especially the big breakfalls. The truth is, I don't! I STILL cannot roll exactly right nor do the sumi breakfall completely right (though I am working on it) To be frank, this next stage really really scares me! I mean, after green there is only two belts to black and that is a scary thought that one day, me-yes me could be a Dan grade.
So, rather than try and beat myself up (I can do that at the grading-just pick a Dan grade as a grading partner) I've come to reflect on my own little aiki journey so far.
21 months ago, I stepped into a dojo for the first time and was quite literally petrified. One first Kyu who I train with can't believe it took nearly three sessions before I would really speak to anyone- sorry guys, but Dan grades and higher grades in Gis whilst you're stood next to them dressed in street clothes are very scary the first time you meet face to face. From there, I overcame my fear over backward breakfalls, although I still haven't broken though the fear of forward rolls as yet, but I will do so...eventually, in like 20 years time.
I've passed three gradings white, yellow and orange-though I really didn't think I was ready. Perhaps because physical sports have never been my 'thing'. In fact, I took home one school report when I was about 15 and my parents laughed at the PE grade. At my school we were given a grade (A-F) and an 'effort' grade (1-5, with 1 being excellent, 5 being very poor). I got As and Bs for most subjects apart from PE, where I got an E. My effort grade was a 1. Yes, a 1. So in other words, sorry you really are the pits at PE but can't fault you for trying- at least thats how my parents interpreted it.
Anyway, although I can't do some things in Aikido yet- I guess I've come far, especially from the terrifed student at my first few sessions...to taking myself to summer school and doing it by myself for three whole days. So, if you like, I've gone from someone rather gwaky to someone whose a fighter. I suppose what's left now is a leap of faith on that grading date...

Chapter 22: Being a lightweight...Advantage or Disadvantage in Aikido?

2007-09-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

This topic has always been a point of interest for me since day one of stepping in the dojo, does having a light build bring advantages or disadvantages? For me, being approximately 8 stone 6lbs (give or take) I have experienced both.
I found that that as an advantage I can bounce quite well from a heavy breakfall (I always managed to 'bounce' whenever I fell downstairs as a child) but I find many people disagree. The general consensus appears to be that if you have a fair bit of muscle hitting the floor it is less so hard on your body.
However, being a lightweight does have one major disadvantage in that you find if thrown at high speed you can 'fly'. Yes, thats right, quite literally fly off the mat. Thankfully I've never come off the mat, although there were a couple of close calls at summer school.
So, I guess being a lightweight is good, but I wouldn't mind being a stone heavier, particulary during Hikitat. (Although 'flying' is fun, you still face gravity...splat!)

Chapter 21: An example of the effect of eighteen months of Aikido training...I sign up for three days of summer school

2007-08-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I decided I would sign up for three days at the BAA summer school. This is testimony to the effect that Aikido has had on me...eighteen months ago I would not have even thought of reading the leaflet advertising summer school, much less actually doing it. But wisely or unwisely I did.
I spent the week before being very excited but at the same time really nervous. I really did not know what to expect,(well apart from the pain of doing Aikido for three days straight of course)and the truth was, I was scared witless. Yep, really scared, no word of a lie and I didn't know what I was scared about!
On the way there on the first day I was so nervous, I honestly thought I was going to partake of breakfast again in the car on the way there, I felt extremely nauseous.
Due to my worry of being late, I turn up half an hour early. To quell nerves, I decide to go and look at the judo hall where it was going to be. Big mistake! one look of the thin mats we were going to breakfall on, and I felt like running for the hills.
But once other people began to turn up, I felt better. Everyone seemed as nervous as one another. On the lining up for grade order, I noticed I am one of a few women there. I was quite surprised at this as my experience of Aikido (although limited) was that it was a martial art that was dominated by women. Not here it seems. But on the plus side, no long queues for the ladies over the next few days, bonus!
One of the first things we did in the morning was to get stuck in with the warm-up. All I can say is I'm glad at the club where I trained is very fitness-orientated and that I did the 5km Race For Life for Cancer Research recently as there is no way on this planet I would have survived the initial warm-ups!
I found there was very little difference between the way in which the sessions were planned in comparison to a club session but the discipline and etiquette expected was far higher. But as the club where I train is quite informal, it was a little shock to the system at first! But I got used to it.
I can honestly say that this was the best thing I have experienced about Aikido so far. The privilege of being taught by high ranking Dan grades and the opportunity to work with so many different Aikkidoccas was beyond this world.
Although I was black and blue, having around 20 bruises at the end of the three days, extremely sore and stiff and felt like I could never break fall again, I would do it all again tommorrow (Yes, I'm a nut-case, I know). But the experience I have gained and the things I have learnt were well worth not being able to move for about two days straight!

Chapter 20: The Process Of Learning To Take Your Uke's Balance...Suddenly The Penny Drops About Aikido

2007-07-31T03:34:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite parts of Tomiki Aikido is Hikkitat. I like it because it is usually during Hikkitat I usually find the purpose to a technique (and as an added bonus you get a really good workout).
At a recent session, one instructor was trying to illustrate how moving off your attacker's centre and taking their balance was a fudamental concept to Aikido. So, to illustrate this we started Hikkitat.
An interesting part to Hikkitat is trying to illustrate to someone who hasn't come across Hikkitat the actual principle behind it. The thing about Hikkitat is that as you effectively 'chase' your partner around the mat, there will be that magical point where as Tori you feel your Uke's point of balance being broken and.. down they go. Success! To be honest, until you feel that 'magic' moment of the point of balance being taken, you won't really understand the true priciple behind Hikkitat.

Chapter 19: Prevention Of Injury...The Responsibility Of Tori Or Uke?

2007-07-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

At a recent aiki session we covered the concept of safety when practising as the attacker. The idea being that the person acting as the Uke is more or less entirely responsible for their own safety. I slightly disagreed with a Sengpai that Tori should only have around 5% responsibility for the prevention of injury to Uke, I see it as more like 10% but that's neither here or there.
The point is, injuries do and will occur in Aikido. Firstly, lapses in concentration can cause injury, secondly, resisting a technique and thirdly through Uke's stupidity. Yes, stupidity. Not often, but it does happen I've seen it. In fact, I seen all three of these reasons. One was when I saw a student go into a roll and dislocate their shoulder. Just a freak accident caused through a tiny tiny lapse in concentration really. Another time, I seen students breakfalling with injured backs. And yes before you ask, to date I have had two, no three injuries so far. The first was my own fault, I panicked when someone did Somenati and ended up with slight whiplash. The second, I cracked my shoulder when someone took me far too quickly into a technique, but strangely enough fixed my RSI so I ain't complaining and the third has been a cracked toe nail.
Yep, everyone has a list of injuries as long as their arm. When I was asked at the session if I thought as a beginner that a martial art would be injury free, I could truthfully answer no. I honestly didn't. The fact is my Dad used to do Judo, and had warned me of the injuries that would occur. And I thought, yep, cheers Dad, you're not selling me starting a martial art.
Anyway, I knew my Dad was right. That's why it took me about six months to start a martial art, I was frightened of what might happen. A hard thing to admit and I still am I suppose, given that I've been doing Aikido for 18 months and STILL cannot roll (probably to some fear complex) But Hay Ho.
So, injury. Yes, I entirely agree that I'm responsible for my own safety for injury prevention. But, I have to add, just because someone stiffens half-way through a technique, does that mean as Tori you continue with the technique knowing full well (especially if you are a higher grade then the person you are working with) that it may cause injury? Or do you stop? Where exactly should the line of responsibility of injury prevention be drawn? Personally, I think you should take care of your Uke but also take care of yourself and not lay blame at anyone's door should you be injured. Rest, and get back to training, not easy...but if you don't get back on the mat, you never will. I would never have got back on that mat after the shoulder and neck injuries if I hadn't have quelled the little voice of fear inside my head and just got on with training. And I'm glad I did.

Note: An interesting idea was brought up during Hikkitat at a recent session. If you find that as Tori you have an Uke that resists during Hikkitat it is YOUR responsibility to do another technique. Interesting concept really, given that it is primarily the responsibility of Uke for their own safety but I guess that as Hikkitat can get quite dangerous given that you and your Uke are fighting for technique this is a sensible idea to have.

Chapter 18: The Feeling Of Pain....An Essential Part Of Training?

2007-07-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

I recently attended an aiki session where we had someone who was already an orange belt in Karate/Kickboxing start their first session in aiki. The immediate thing that struck me was how this student flinched when myself and another Sengpai started discussing the usual pre-session talk on different bruises obtained from the previous session. I tend bruise real easily, particularly on the wrists so this has become a natural part of life for me that at some point or another during the week I have several aiki-related bruises. Its no biggy, I see it as part of the package of training in a martial art.
But seeing this other student flinch made me wonder... how painful should a contact sport like a marital art be? In Aikido, the application of the different wrist locks make it impossible for you not to escape feeling some pain at one point during a session. To prevent injury obviously, you tap twice on the mat or body in submission when the pain appears. But I often wonder should this be done as the pain is felt or when it becomes unbearable?. To be honest, I do a mixture of the two and I will explain why.
Around two years ago, before I started Aikido I developed RSI in my right wrist so therefore wrist pain is something that I am used to. So, where to draw the line when dealing with pain in training?
I like to think that although pain is part of training in Aikido, it is important to LISTEN to your body, if it hurts, tap out. If injured, rest. You know, common sense things really.
A useful book recommended to me by a fellow student was 'Angry White Pyjamas' by Robert Twigger. I really enjoyed this book. It give an insight into what it is like to push yourself beyond your limits and the experience of pain alongside this. After all, isn't that what a martial art helps you to achieve, obtaining a new physical and spiritual level for yourself?

Chapter 17: Counters, Decision Time!

2007-06-20T12:05:00.001-07:00

After several weeks of working on counters with several bruises and one cracked toe nail, I finally make my decision on counters. Yep, I really really like them.
Of late, there has only been small classes down at the club where I train so there has be more time to work with these things.
So, after one session of trying (unsuccessfully on most occasions) to counter techniques in free play, I really enjoyed working on counters (apart from leaving the mat at several points during the evening of course).
I don't know what it is about counters that I like, its kinda of the rhythm of the flow of the technique if you know what I mean. But yes, I know that they don't really work particularly in kata, but that still doesn't displace their magic they weave when they are done in full flow in freeplay...

Chapter 16: Counters...another aspect of Aikido just like marmite, you either love 'em or hate 'em

2007-05-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Having recently obtained the level of 4th Kyu (Orange belt) I learned that for green I also needed counters as well as Hikkitat. Okay, thinks I lets have a go.
I quickly found that counters as THE worst thing to learn (apart from rolling) and whlist some people like them, others hate them with a passion.
However, counters do have their uses both inside and outside of the dojo. Inside, they are obviously employed as a technique in Hikkitat but outside they may also be used as a form of defence should an attacker also have knowledge of martial art (or so I'm told).
At the moment I'm reserving judgement as to whether I like them or hate them but there's no doubt that a knowledge of counters are useful in certain situations.

Chapter 15: Putting the 'Martial' back into Aikido...queue technqiues frenzy

2007-05-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

I was a little dubious when one session one of the Senpagi's decided it was time to put the 'martial' back into our Aikido. I will be honest, I really, really had no idea what he meant. I mean, I'm not violent!, I don't like hurting folk (honest). Anyway, at the session he brings out punch pads. Okay.. now what?
Turns out we were to work on punches. Yay! I had had a really lousily day at work and it felt real good to get some frustration out of my system. Once we'd done that, we worked on shomenouti strikes (strike to top of head) right and left handed. Only were told 'strike like you really mean it', okay...but I thought Aikido was not about aggression. But then I realised what they were getting at...its easier to do techniques when Uke strikes well and is reasonably compliant then to just edge forward, arm out nervously. It was a kinda revelation for me to realise that you could have some hardness in technique but without being aggressive.

Chapter 14: Ninandori...how fast can you go?

2007-05-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

Ninandori for me was always about worrying whether I can breakfall correctly and quickly enough to actually get back up after every technique (harder than actually the technique if you ask me). So, imagine my sheer panic when I realised for one two hour session we would be learning and doing Ninandori. Eek!
I actually like Ninandori in a strange sort of way, its a bit like the 'Fast and the Furious' cut down into thirty seconds depending on who the Tori is at the time. But I didn't have a clue how to survive...I mean, two on one is hardly fair right?
We started off quite gently working on how to shorten techniques and showed them to the rest of the club. Then we partnered off for Ninandori....
It was really really great. In the end, against a dan and 1st Kyu I managed 16 techniques in thrity seconds a personal best for me. Now, its their turn...tatanmi at break neck speed here I come!

Chapter 13: The dreaded date for grading had arrived...

2007-04-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe that this time last year I was panicking about my first grading to White belt and now I was to grade for Orange... eek!
The only thing that I was looking forward to was having some circulation in my hands and feet as my last grading was in October and it was freezing!
So I turned up nice and early, purly to quell the butterflies zooming around at supersonic speed in my stomach to find the three grading examiners had decided on wearing Hakkanmas for the evening. Now don't get me wrong I like Hakkanmas, but the fact is a scary black belt becomes a really really scary black belt once they put on a Hakkanma.
Anyway, to cut to the chase so to speak, I did it! I graded to Orange, Yipee! I was aching all over, dripping like tap with sweat and covered in brusies, but I don't care, I did it!

Chapter 12: The role of the Uke...a mixture of compliance and resistance- a bit like being slightly stubborn but flexible

2007-04-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

The thing you find when you progress in a martial art is the difficulty in learning how to be a good Uke. You can't be too resistant but you can't be too compliant- you get nowhere. This is always difficult (at least it was for me when I became a yellow belt)- How do you Uke for a lower grade without being too hard or too soft? The answer I guess is to find a balance, think of being as one with Tori (or vice versa) while maintaining the centre.
It is Uke's role to help Tori demonstrate the breaking of balance (but obviously not making it too easy for Tori)- ie: you learn to flex and 'fly'. Once you learn that the mat becomes your lifelong friend...foam is quite tasty once you get used to it, trust me.

Chapter 11: Gradings...A test of skill and sanity, Help!

2007-04-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I don't like gradings much. I'm not sure why but in the run up to gradings everything goes to pot- techniques, breakfalls, you name it. However, once I have done a grading I usually feel a lot better. Hopefully , the next grading for me will be to orange belt. Its strange how a year ago I was fussing about my very first Aikido grading to white and now I'm seriously thinking of grading to orange (or not, if I can think of a way of running far far away.
Before you ask, nope the forward ukemi still isn't quite right but I can do Kote breakfalls! Yes! Yes! Yes! (Yeah okay, I'm a little too excited about being able to do that and yeah, I can't roll but I can somersault, so I'm a bit weird in that way. Oh well, who said life was simple?)
So on with the nest grading. (Gulp) I know, I know, there is nothing to be afraid of, and the weather is quite warm now so my circulation should be okay ( At least I won't be struggling with Waki with no circulation, no fun at all, trust me). Somehow I never know how I manage to do gradings-my nerves are in tatters the day before. But if I didn't get up there and bite the bullet, I never would.
The advice I would give to a beginner is just relax and enjoy it (says she) but there is nothing to be afraid of (just a few people watching that's all) Trust me- I'm an Aikiddocca!

Chapter 10: I've just Realised...me, myself and I as an Aikidocca are all as one...spooky

2007-04-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

You begin to realise that you may have become slightly obsessed with a martial art when you begin to no longer feel pain, or flinch when people sneak up on you and make you jump (which frequently happens in my workplace).
I used to think that maybe the Aikidocca inside of me would only come alive in the dojo and then lay dormant til the next session. How wrong I was.
I started to realise that my training was beginning to 'kick in' as it were when I longer flinched at sudden loud noises. Aikido training also comes in handy when you are on the train and a completely and utter stranger (who may be drunk) sits down opposite or worst, next to you and catters on. This frequently seems to happen to me... I must have the sort of face that's kinda honest and friendly (or else look like a complete mug) that makes people approach me. Now as a woman, this is quite frankly scary.. I mean, there are hundreds of other seats, why pick me? Anyway.. back to the scary stranger. The important thing I learnt from Aikido is not to panic or engage conversation - just ignore them...and hope they go away.
Oh yeah, teenage kids living around me seem to think that its great fun to walk around in large gangs and try and be scary by shouting in people's faces. Well, since I've started Aikido this no longer works.. I just stand my ground and glare and they back off. Quite interesting really.
You also find with starting a martial art that people (especially work colleagues) give you some stick or respect, depending on who they are. For example, I usually get 'You don't look like you do a martial art' and 'I would never picture you doing that kinda thing'. (What I usually do is grin real wide... and just ignore them, especially when they start saying 'Better not get on the wrong side of you' etc. and all the rest of it)But yes.. the stick does get a little irritating, but the fact is is that people are fascinated when they meet a martial artist, it has a air of mystery to it. So I'm now a woman of many mysteries at work, great- beats being the youngest anyway.

Chapter 9: Tanto: You either hate it or love it....a bit like marmite really

2007-03-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I did tanto, I was placed against an extremely scary looking Senpagi and told to have a go. Well, I don't know about you, but I took one look at my opponent and wanted to run away (real fast). But if anything, I'm not a quitter, so I stuck it out and found I really really enjoyed it.
First of all there are two forms of tanto in Tomiki Aikido. The first is Gekarigaygo and the other Hikitatigaygo. The first is free play without resistance and the second free play with resistance (basically think 'rag doll' and you get the basic idea).
I really enjoy both forms of tanto. It is great exercise and really good from a defence point of perspective. But I do find that some higher grades really don't like tanto at all whereas I love it, but maybe I'm just weird in that way.

Chapter 8: Different grasps for techniques...suddenly a technique in Aikido becomes a method of self-defence

2007-03-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

When I first started to work using different attacks and grasps like cuts to the head, straight punch etc., I wasn't really sure how to apply any Aikido techniques to any form of self-defence, so these exercises are brilliant for encouraging you to sort of overcome the initial fear with all beginners... that you don't want to hurt someone, you just don't want to be the one hurt, yeah?
But the real handy thing about practising techniques from different grasps is that they also show how you can adapt your technique for different situations. Take technique five (Ushorio-ate) of Aikido (a personal favourite of mine-really easy technique to apply), this technique can be used for different attacks, say, for example, bottle attacks.
So there you have it... a versatile form of self defence, not entirely fool-proof, but as with any form of self defence, it just makes you feel as though you can do something, should you get grabbed in the street (as what frequently happens in my home town, particularly to women). But in case anyone is wondering, no, I don't feel invincible... just safe walking and traveling to and from A to Z.
However, I feel I have to say to any women reading this... that just because you may be able to defend yourself, doesn't mean that you are invincible or you will never be attacked at 1am coming home alone from a club or pub, play it safe and get a taxi home. I have spoken to many women and it always frightens me that because they live in a small town, they don't think anyone will try and jump them in the early hours of the morning when they are walking home alone. So basically, what I'm trying to say is, don't get paranoid...go out enjoy yourself but keep yourself and your mates safe.

Chapter 7: Okay...now I am offically weird

2007-03-06T04:54:00.000-08:00

After one year of aikido, you may think, yep, she's getting there, knows stuff yardy yardy yar. But I STILL cannot roll (well, I sort of can roll... in a 'roll' sense of fashion)
So, I decide enough is enough. I decided to try Shigaei (roll into side breakfall) as I kinda figured if I landed one my side...I may as well try doing a breakfall which involves landing on the side with the bizziare idea that I might actually roll.
Well, I didn't roll... but I did manage to achieve Shigaei. Yeah, okay I can't roll but I can do Shigaei... doesn't make sense, but there you are. Yippee! I can actually do Shigaei, even if I can't roll. Roll on the next grading I say (Hehe-pun not intended, honest)

Chapter 6: Two clubs....How or how not to choose?

2007-03-03T12:34:00.000-08:00

After practising for a year, I wanted more out of my Aikido, you know... better fitness, improved technique etc. As the club I first trained at was out of town and not having a car, imagine my relief when I found a club virtually on my doorstep. I have to say I didn't really know what to do... how would Sensi take my training at two different places?
It was then that I realised that it wasn't out of disrespect to Sensi that I wanted to achieve more.. it was more of that I wanted to explore my Aikido further, push the boundaries of my physical abiltites.
I then rather timidly approached Sensi at the end of a session to ask his permission (I didn't want to offend him, I just wanted to ask him his opinion) and to my relief, he seemed to think it was a good idea.
Just one little thing... how to fit in three different sessions in one week? I eventually decided to train one nigh at one and one night at the other. Seems to work quite well, I'm getting an extra half hour a week and a good variety of teaching and training.

Chapter 5: Combat With Weapons... Eeek!

2007-02-18T05:10:00.000-08:00

Up until now, I haven't really mentioned anything about weapons...sort of the orgins of the techniques involved in Aikido, so to speak. There are three main weapons used in Aikido, Tanto (knife), Jo (staff) and Bockun (sword).
The first weapon I really used was the Jo. I love the Jo Kata,it is quite relaxing in some ways (except the time I got klonked on the knuckle..THAT ONE HURT!). The best part of weapons is allowing you experience the orgins of techniques as well as self-defence in knife work. Weapons also teach you spacial awareness and distance in techniques (Brillant if you can trip over your own shadow like me)
But I should say that just because you use weapons in the dojo, it does NOT mean that you can use them against other people. They are purly a training tool and should be used as such with the up most respect and only used in the Dojo.

Chapter 4: That was the easy part…. Now comes the big Ukemis!

2007-02-04T04:18:00.001-08:00

Okay, Aikido is pretty amazing, but it does get really tough. After my first grading came my nemesis: the forward ukemi. Anyone who already practises Aikido will know how horrible these are for beginners- its not a proper roll! At least- not in the sense of the word ‘roll’. You imagine that you’re a wheel, and you take off, rolling along an extended arm, down the spine and onto the opposite hip- easy! Not!
I did not get rolls. I kept going over on my side. Unfortunately, I needed them for my next belt, so in the run-up to my next grading, I was basically a rag-doll, throwing myself at anything (and being thrown) into these things.
Then came the ‘night’. The night I was to grade. I was scared no scratch that, petrified. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t- I had come to far to let one little ukemi get the better of me.
It was also a cold night, my circulation cut out waiting to go up onto the tatanmi- I couldn’t feel my feet or my hands or anything (part from fear of course). However, despite having no circulation, a stomach of butterflies and a feeling of wanting to run far far away, I did my roll well, sort of anyway. But I did get my belt! I was now an official coloured belt-break out the champagne!

Chapter 3: The first grading…the be all or end all of my sanity

2007-02-04T04:16:00.000-08:00

I did have doubts about my suitability for this art, particularly in the run –up to my first grading. I mean, all my techniques went to complete pot; all the terminology and principles of Aikido just disappeared. You know, I felt a bit like David being fed to the lions, that it was an impossible feat, me actually doing my first grading! In front of the whole club! But I got up there (heaven knows how- I was shaking like a leaf) and I did it! I actually graded! I was a bit sorry to go home really.
One of the most amazing things about Aikido is the way it can take one scrawny person and change them into something that’s well, interesting, like they can take on the whole world, at least that’s how I felt after my first grading to white belt-a bit like walking on air out of the dojo.

Chapter 2: Okay………whose idea was this?

2007-01-30T12:20:00.000-08:00

I did eventually find a club Aikido from the local newspaper. So, one dark and quiet night in January 2006, I set off in a taxi (as I don’t have my licence yet). However, getting to the roundabout before the club, I suddenly thought ‘Whoa, what am I doing? Turn back, TURN BACK!’. Too late, the driver had taken the turning and in no time at all, I was stood staring at a brick building. Yep, this was it.
After wandering up a maze of corridors, I eventually reached the hall where the club was held. Okay, this was it. But I couldn’t bring myself to go in. I had two choices: I could either go right in or turn around and runaway but just as I decided that running away was the best option, the Sensei spotted me and I thought, drat! He has seen me; there was no escaping now. So I went in….

Chapter 1: Why on earth as an educated, reasonably sensible (and sane) woman did I decide to do this?

2007-01-30T12:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, first of all, I never really pictured myself as a Martial Artist. I mean, I hate pain and I really really don’t like hurting people (honest). So why on earth did I decide to become an Aikidodocha?
Well, it sort of comes from wanting to be able to defend myself should anything happen in the street, I mean there are lots of complete idiots carrying knives and whatever else they can fit into their pockets wandering around.
I tried lots of places really, but there were no Martial Arts that offered what I wanted. I just wanted to get away from an attack, not knock the seven bells out of someone. So, I decided (after endless trawls on the Net) to choose Aikido. There was just one problem, living in a little-known town; I couldn’t find anywhere that did it. Never mind, thinks I, I will forget all about it and just do a course in self-defence….