Chapter 67: And...Breathe and try not to scream with frustration

This post is in recognition of this Month (March 2013) being Endometriosis Awareness Month.
Around 1.5 million women in the UK alone have this condition, including me! So please do read the following, there is an Aikido link, I promise....
 

But before I get ahead of myself, I think I should at least try and explain what exactly endometriosis is.
I think the best way of explaining it is this. All us ladies of child-bearing age have a menstrual cycle. This, as I'm sure many husbands, fathers, boyfriends and partners will agree turns the most agreeable, sweet natured woman into a hormonal screaming banshee for about a week every month. As we all know, if a woman is not pregnant, the uterus (womb) lining breaks down and she bleeds. The cycle then starts again, with the womb lining being built up again in preparation for the next month. With endometriosis, the womb lining grows outside the womb, and is found around the uterus, its ligaments, tubes and ovaries. It can also spread to grow on the bladder and bowel and rarely the lungs. As its womb lining, every month when the bleeding occurs, the endometriosis bleeds too. As there is nowhere for the blood to go, it becomes trapped, causing pain. This blood then sticks to other organs in the pelvis causing further problems.

So onto the actual post, or reason why I'm posting anyway.

Grrrr...there is a saying 'never count your chickens before they are hatched'. How true this is.


Although I had been feeling alot better since the laporoscopy, the endometriosis pain had been creeping up on me again. I was so glad not to be in constant pain (the endometriosis I had was growing in a few places where there are alot of nerves) that I dismissed it at first, enjoying my first run of good health for a least 3 years. That was pretty stupid of me as it turns out. So I'm now back where I was a few months ago now.

Since my diagnosis, I'm finding that many people haven't actually heard of Endometriosis, and those who have, sadly are under the impression that it is 'just bad period pain'. The most annoying thing about endometriosis is that you have good days and bad days with it. Some days I have just too much pain and feel too tired and wiped out to do very much, and other days, I have too much energy. Its just the way it is. But I do wish that my 'energy days' could happen more on training days. I might have a shot at being able to train for my 1st Kyu.

I am not sure how many people there are who practise martial arts who have a chronic long term medical condition, but I am finding with Aikido at least, there is still training I can do, despite the pain and fatigue. Okay, so I can't do randori every session, but I can do basic foot and hand movements and still keep some flexibility by stretching to warm up and cool down. Oh, and breathing helps too with pain relief. I think that the adaptability of Aikido is one of my most favourite things about this art, I'm not sure that many other martial arts would be as quite so adaptable for people such as myself.

So at the minute, its very basic training for me. Little or no breakfalls, with emphasis on basic movement. This might drive some people crazy, but for me, its working. The most important thing is that by doing this, training slowly and going back to basic movement, means that I'm ironing out old and bad habits.


Thank you for reading. I know that the first half was perhaps too personal and hard to read. But its important that people know how debilitating this disease can be. And awareness starts with people being willing to talk and share experience.

Chapter 66: New year, New Aikilass :D

Okay, I know I am about a month late with the 'New Year' bit for the title. But it seems fitting some how.

I am now 12 weeks post op from my laporoscopy and feel pretty good actually, considering how ill I was 6 months ago. I wish I could say that I am now completely asymptomatic, but unfortunately I still get easily tired and still have certain monthly 'lady' issues. But for the benefit of any male readers I will stop right there.

I guess since I have had the endometriosis 'growing' for so long, I am bound to still have a few problems, but these are easily managed with good pain meds and rest. Yes, rest. I do rest now. Being ill has taught that I'm not superwoman! And nor should I try to be. I should do what I can, when I can.

This is the philosophy I'm currently applying to training. I'm now training for about 4 hours a week, but am careful not to overdo it at each session. The Senpai and Sensi are keeping a close eye on me, never fear! I sometimes find that because I seem to have a high pain and tiredness threshold, I can easily overdo it and these guys aren't afraid to tell me 'enough now'. This is a big help for me, enough though it may seem to an outsider that they are being overcautious, they are just looking after me.

Because of this, I can now Uke for others for about 30-45 minutes. Two weeks ago, I only managed 15 minutes before collapsing in a heap. A diginifed heap, but a heap none the less. This week I managed about 30 minutes. Without breaks. So you see, I am slowly getting better all the time.

I don't think I would have recovered so quickly and so well, (to the amazement of my GP) without my Aikido training. Any martial arts training condition you in certain ways. Aikido is good for you getting to know you. Thats how I know I'm recovering well. My Aikido now feels good, and strong, and I feel that it is improving all the time now I'm not in so much pain. I now feel that I've got the strenght and energy to try for my next grade. And I haven't felt like that for a long time.

Chapter 65: Final part of the Summary of the journey so far...

Of course I did go in! You really didn't think a scary entrance would put me off now would you?

So, after 6 years or there abouts now. I have found my 'home'. I am very happy where I am. I don't think I've been more settled. I feel really part of the club as a whole, I wonder how many other people can say that?

I have a Sensei who understands me and my training needs. Who took me on, warts and all. I have Senpai, who are the best I have ever trained with, and I really do mean that.

We train hard, but we learn, respect and trust one another too. And thats what for me, my Aikido is about. Not getting a black belt or shiny gold medals, but having that key relationship between each and everyone who trains there.