Chapter 81: Owner or Custodian of a Club/Dojo? ...Does a dojo belong to a particular person?

Are you an Owner or Custodian of a Club/Dojo? Does the Club belong sorely to a particular Sensei or are we as instructors whilst being in charge and run the dojo just custodians? An interesting question perhaps?

Over the last two years, I have pretty much gone from being someone who just turned up, assisted a little with new starters and trained just for me to an assistant instructor with heavy involvement in running  and teaching at the Club. It has been a steep learning curve, one which whilst being hard at times has ultimately been very rewarding. I never thought that one day, 11 years down the line be the person stood on the mat saying to a terrified new beginner 'Right, shoes off, socks off let's get you started'.

But does the Club actually belong to the instructors who teach there? Yes this is my club, I belong here, I help run it, I've helped build it into a good place not only to train but to be part of a community. I feel this to be true because there are always people asking me in the changing room, corridors etc (people who I do not know who they are, not really) asking me how the club is, how training is going. And the answers I give are always positive ones. Especially about our Juniors class.

I was reading an article about the different generations a club has or goes through. It talked about the first generation teacher(s) the person or people who set it up  and establish what the club principles and purposes are and the second generation who then takes up the baton when the first generation is no longer there and builds on this work. It also talked about what changes each generation may make as well.

But as an instructor is this club ours? Do we own it? Perhaps because we're the first to have had the baton passed onto, it still feels a little new. But more recently it feels that whilst we're making the club ours, in some ways maybe we're really only looking after it until the next people come along to pass the baton onto. But isn't that the point of being a club? We work together to make the club work as a whole, we train together, we work towards the future. We as instructors, along with our students, in way are like a stepping stone towards that future for the club and the art as a whole. Each one of us has our own contribution to make our club and the martial art we practise great.

Chapter 80: When saying 'No' does not make you weak.... sometimes you just have to go with the flow

Those of you who visit regularly here know that 4 years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis after years of pain and illness. Since diagnosis I have been encouraged to try and conceive to help my symptoms, with no success. To cut a very long story short at the beginning of last year I had IVF treatment and right from the start I was not well at all and it ended in Ovarian Hyperstimulation (OHSS) which is a serious complication and I was hospitalised as a result. This last year has therefore been a very long year of both healing and pain.

As a result of the OHSS, it would appear that this has triggered the endometriosis to grow back - big style. So this last year has been trying to find what works for me and frankly failing at it. Due to the pain and fatigue I could not train for Aikido and could do even less for Iaido which means effectively putting gradings and seminars on hold. Oh yes, and the guilt and feeling that my club mates were leaving me behind. So I was in a vicious circle. Pain, fatigue, pain, fatigue.

But there comes a point of where you have to stop looking at what cannot be done, and working at what can. I started teaching kids Aikido again, and they now enjoy the class so much that many of them come 15-20 mins early- just to practise! And we seem to be multiplying in numbers, they bring their friends, their cousins, anyone they know in fact to class. This is great as an Aikido coach, not so great if you're a Mudan in Iaido who really really needs to practise. But we go with the flow right?

So with this in mind as I really needed help other than painkillers, I've gone back to using Prostap, so am effectively now in a medical menopause. It is helping a little, but still struggling with the pain each day.  But hey, I managed 5 burpees at Aikido at the start of March and last week managed 10 (sort of, before landing in a very dignified 'splat'). So what? some would say, but that could not have happened a year ago. So we are healing, and we are accepting that this is where we are and we have to work with that.

When people hear that I'm still in the dojo, they are amazed. But I don't train for anything other than for me at the moment and it's strangely liberating in a way. I can just enjoy Aikido and Iaido for me. I can enjoy bringing other Aikidoca on. It doesn't matter that I should now be 1st Dan working towards 2nd Dan. This is me. Fighting and battling on, because that's what I'm good at.

There will be those who argue what's the point of training if you may not ever grade again? Here's the thing - any martial art is a lifelong learning journey seeking and striving for perfection. We never achieve this as we simply don't live long enough. We also never stop learning. A decision to grade or not is a personal one, and part of  our own journey. For me, if I was to achieve my 1st Dan in Aikido that would be a huge achievement and not just because of ongoing health issues. Aikido has taught me so much about 'going with the flow'. So this me- doing what I do best, 'going with the flow'.