Well it just proves how busy life gets when you realise that you haven't posted for 6 months!
I think alot of my time has been spent on me to be honest. I'm training nearly every week but not for the full session yet and only doing light Ukemi. I am not being a wimp, honest! I am just following Doctor's orders regarding the certain rest period during my cycle.
The decision I made in December to carry on training for my Shodan and not quit has changed me as a martial artist in some respects. The pain from the endometriosis has changed me. There are two of me on the tantami at anytime, one is the part of my mind which knows which pain and how I can push through and the other is the part which screams 'enough!'. It is a strange mindset to be in-to be aware of pain but not aware of it.
The hip and pelvic pain means that I cannot move through each technique as quickly as needed. But Aikido is not about speed necessarily, but about application. Yes, you need some speed or the technique just will not work but equally just speed on its own isn't enough.
So how is this linked to the blog title?
Well, rather than being a lower grade, yes I know its strange a brown belt being a lower grade but my club has four Dan grades against two Kyu grades so I've never felt like a higher grade you see. Which suited me just fine. Recently a large number of red belts joined us, so I'm not a Kohai anymore. As I can't always train, I coach instead. I now take the warm up as well. So I guess I am now more Senpai than Kohai, leading by example.
But what is a Senpai? And more for that matter a Kohai? What do these terms mean? If you look up the definitions of Senpai and Kohai they loosely translate as 'Senior' and 'Junior' student. So if we were to take the definitions literally, Dan grades are Senpai, Kyu grades are Kohai. Right? Not strictly true in my experience. My first Senpai was a brown belt, and I owe them alot for encouraging me to continue training when I felt like giving up. It was their voice I heard when considering to continue or not back in December.
This delicate relationship is a difficult one to explain. How many people who are non-martial artists have asked you about this relationship, taking 'orders' as it were from the higher grades? This really is not true. At least not with a good Senpai. Senpai are supposed to teach and guide their Kohai, Kohai are supposed to respect their Senpai and learn everything they can. When both truely respect and learn from one another, a life long bond establishes. I am still in contact with my first Senpai even now after not training with them for four years. And yes, even though we are now the same grade, there is no way I would stand ahead in line if we ever trained together again. I respect them too much for that. This is not a 'Yes Sir, No Sir, Three bags full Sir' situation, and just following etiquette rules, I truely do not feel I should stand ahead of them.That is what respect is.
So yes, being a higher grade has changed my Aikido. I am constantly aware of how I behave on the mat towards those of both a lower and higher grade then me. I take time to work each technique with each person regardless of grade. I cannot say if my Aikido is harder or softer or even improved for that matter, it is just more of the fact that I am more aware of my Aikido and how it flows and works.
