Well thats it...grading done and dusted. I finally managed to get a grip and try for my blue belt. The strange thing was that for a fornight I was a whole mixture of emotions-first excited, then nervous and then both excited and nervous at the same time.
The nerves this time didn't kick in till about one hour before, like I said this was a new thing for me. But I think it was because I had decided that whether I passed or failed this grading-the world wouldn't stop spinning on its axis.
It wasn't too bad. It started off a little badly as my Ukemi weren't as good as they could of been and I will be honest, had I not waited nearly a year to grade this time-I might have given up there and then. I just felt like crying in frustration really.
But the kata and technical side of the grading wasn't bad, I think it went as well as what it could have done. Apart from the fact that I had a huge mental block during counters, but I wasn't the only one to fluff that side of things up. But the one thing that I felt went well was the free practice-I really enjoyed it. There is nothing like a total of about eight minutes of free play to completely relax you at a grading- as well as tire you out.
I think with hindsight, this has benn the first grading that I have really enjoyed. All my other gradings up till now have been rather nerve racking, this one however...I'm still not sure what happened to make the nerves disappear. I think that perhaps I realised that the only person I was doing this for was me, and so I had nothing to prove to anyone except myself that I could do this. I did however have to prove that I was ready for this grade to the grading panel but somehow the whole thing didn't bother me.
So did I pass or did I fail? The truth is I don't know yet- we will find out in three weeks time.
