So, what does your Aikido or if you participate in another martial art mean to you?
I ask this question as I've recently attended a weekend course and had a chance to attempt another grading. It was very tempting, for quite a few reasons, and I have to say all of them wrong reasons for grading. I will be very honest when I heard that people I knew were grading, I really wanted to join them on the mat at least to try.
But I decided not to. Its not that I don't ever want to grade to brown and eventually (I hope) to black- it just feels wrong at this moment in time. It feels too soon, it feels wrong somehow to even think about grading when my last grading was before Christmas.
The point is, I didn't grade because I've come to realise whats important to me about my Aikido- and its not to grade. I never started Aikdo for the much desired black belt- I started for self-defence reasons and to give myself a little self-confidence boost. I only started grading because it seemed a good way to remain focused on my training.
However, its now become clear to me that I don't do Aikido so I can grade, I do Aikido because I find it fulfils me in a way in which I can't explain. In fact, I'm finding that I sometimes get more enjoyment of working with the new beginners and lower grades- its a great feeling if you're training with someone who is relatively new to Aikido when they manage to use a technique that they have been struggling with and put you to the floor.
Thats when it hits me- I've often wondered what my Aikido is and I think I finally found it. My Aikdo isn't necessarily about always wanting to reach the next belt- I now much prefer to help others along the path...just as three years ago my Sengpai helped me.
