For this post, I would like to make it as a form dedication to an old Sensei of mine, Terry. Today marks the 5th Anniversary of his passing, and I thought I would share the impact Terry-Sensei had on me and my Aikido.
I first started training at Terry's club in January 2010 when I moved to the city where I now live. Because of where I worked, the location made it difficult to get to training on time using public transport. Terry would come and give me a lift after work to make sure that I could get there. Not many Senseis would go out of their way like he did. He also had a special nickname for me - Babe.
I was also very much a Jo-girl before I met Terry, I didn't like the Bokken very much at all which is hard to believe now. He did alot of Bokken work at the club and I slowly developed a mutual respect and liking for the Bokken. He did an awful lot of work with me on ukemi as well, and didn't get exasperated when I struggled.
After a few months, we were going to training one day and Terry mentioned he was going into Hospital for a bone marrow transplant. He told me he had multiple myeloma, and that the transplant was part of the treatment. He could tell immediately that I knew what it was. As a Biomedical Scientist part of my job is to aid in diagnosis of illness, so yes I knew multiple myeloma was a type of blood cancer and that the bone marrow transplant was his best option of treatment to beat it.
He left the class with Senpai, a 1st Kyu and went into Hospital. He came out of Hospital and appeared to be doing well. He came to do a session, and I remember him asking me if I had a Jo. I said I did, and he asked me to bring it the following week and he would teach me the 31-Jo kata since I had never seen it through to completion.
That was the last time I saw him fit and well. The following week he was re-admitted to Hospital with graft versus host disease. The way to explain it is this. If I was to donate a kidney to you, you would need to take medication for the rest of your life to stop your body rejecting the kidney. In graft versus host disease, the bone marrow attacks the recipient. And there is very little that can be done.
I went to see him in Hospital where he was in good spirits despite being so poorly. I remember him telling me that he wanted me to go and train in the club where I train now. My current club has a bit of a reputation for hard training, which can put people off. I remember he said that it might be better to let Senpai and the other 1st Kyu to test the waters first so to speak because (and I quote) 'They would snap the likes of you in half like a matchstick, Babe - especially as your ukemi is not strong at the moment'. I promised him I would think about it. We then talked about my wedding preparations and where I was going on Honeymoon.
The following week, Senpai gave me a wedding card from Terry and the club. He said that Terry had specifically asked him to get it, and make sure everyone in the club signed it. Even though he was so poorly, he still remembered a small detail like that. Shortly before going on Honeymoon, I learnt he had discharged himself from Hospital because he wanted to be at home.
The day I returned home, I received the news that Terry had passed away in the early hours of the morning, Sunday 27th June 2010 at 2am. We returned to the club, but it felt empty, like it had lost its soul. We attended the funeral, which was a fitting send off. I still can't stand the hymn 'Abide with me' which was sung at his funeral. At the wake, we met my current Sensei and were invited to come and train at his club.
For a month we still couldn't decide what to do. On one hand, we wanted to keep Terry's club going, but on the other none of us had the experience coaching or admin wise to run a club. But the strange thing was, I still felt a presence there, watching us, Terry's presence. The day we decided to go and train at the other club, the presence left. It's ironic now, but on that last day when everyone was talking about if we should close the club and go to the other club I said that it didn't matter where we trained, because although no one could say where we would be in 2 years, 5 years or even 10 years so long as one of us kept training we would still keep a small part of Terry with us. 5 years later, I am the only student of Terry's left on the mat. Looking back I fully understand and appreciate why Senpai didn't feel that he could keep the club going. I am at the same level as him now, and know how he must have felt that he had some extremely large shoes to fill.
Have you ever felt that our loved ones never truly leave us even after death? At the beginning of May this year, I was still in alot of pain from the Endometriosis. I remember I was due my monthly in about 10 days but was having horrendous lower back and abdo pain. I got to Aikido early so I could stretch off. I seem to remember lying there thinking how I couldn't do this week in, week out anymore it just hurt too much. Remember how I said I felt Terry's presence when we were trying to decide what to do about our club? Well, I felt that same presence. I sat up and saw him at the side of the mat looking over the top of his glasses as if to say 'And what so you think you're doing Babe?'. I took this as a sign that I'm not meant to quit, I have to go on and get my Shodan. Because if I don't, it looks as if Terry will haunt me! And knowing him, he would too. Since then, I am finding training a little easier. I guess Terry felt I needed a bit of help.
So this post has been a dedication to Terry, who was more than just a Sensei but a great friend and mentor. Not only did he encourage me in my Aikido, he gave me a love of Bokken work and one of the reasons I am now studying and learning Iaido.
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